I am recently realizing that I do suffer from some daddy issues and I am struggling to let go of the pain.... My dad and mom are still married and I lived with both of my parents until 1 year after I graduated college. My dad was not good about telling me he loved me or was proud of me.. I see how I would keep trying to gain his approval by getting good grades (b/c he did), study business b/c he did, got my masters degree b/c he did, etc.... I was also raised to believe sex is bad and doing it before marriage makes me dirty... So, i have carried the shame that I had sexual encounters before I got married and now struggle with my husband. One thing that I keep hearing that my dad said to me when my first true love and I broke up was "get over it b/c it isn't the first time nor the last that you will get hurt".... so, i also use a victim mentality...
I have saught and gotten attention from men for most of my adult life and have been able to justify it to myself that it is just friends, that i just want him to tell me i am doing a good job, i want him to just accept him and I don't feel judged...
I also would hide this from my husband- some of that b/c of my justifications and some b/c of his behaviors- However, I realize I should never hide it from him...
We had some serious issues for quite some time and have recently been working to reconcile however he doesn't feel I have dealt with my issues b/c I still don't like talking about my sexual past and he feels I still hide from him. He also doesn't beleive that I could be cutting off needing attention-
In attempts to fix this issue within myself I have acknowledged it to myself and God, I pray about it every day and work to think of my husband every time I am around other men to think how would he feel if he was watching me... He doesn't beleive this can keep me from doing it... I learned my lesson by the fact he left me for a bit (and there were other issues on his part that contributed to his aka he has been verbally and physically abusive at times- but has been doing anger management to get it under control)
How do I know if I am really looking at myself honestly about gaining attention or not? And How do i ensure for myself and my husband that I have and continue to deal with my issues? I am also working on things for myself (working two jobs I like, raising my kids, and helping others)
I have saught and gotten attention from men for most of my adult life and have been able to justify it to myself that it is just friends, that i just want him to tell me i am doing a good job, i want him to just accept him and I don't feel judged...
I also would hide this from my husband- some of that b/c of my justifications and some b/c of his behaviors- However, I realize I should never hide it from him...
We had some serious issues for quite some time and have recently been working to reconcile however he doesn't feel I have dealt with my issues b/c I still don't like talking about my sexual past and he feels I still hide from him. He also doesn't beleive that I could be cutting off needing attention-
In attempts to fix this issue within myself I have acknowledged it to myself and God, I pray about it every day and work to think of my husband every time I am around other men to think how would he feel if he was watching me... He doesn't beleive this can keep me from doing it... I learned my lesson by the fact he left me for a bit (and there were other issues on his part that contributed to his aka he has been verbally and physically abusive at times- but has been doing anger management to get it under control)
How do I know if I am really looking at myself honestly about gaining attention or not? And How do i ensure for myself and my husband that I have and continue to deal with my issues? I am also working on things for myself (working two jobs I like, raising my kids, and helping others)
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