Okay, so I am official - single for the first time after a 15 and a half year relationship. I'm now 33 and I'm kind of embarrassed to admit I have never dated anyone but my ex. But then, I was 17 and I just kind of stumbled upon her online (who remembers AOL chatrooms?).
Honestly, I was doing pretty good on my own, you know - simply coping with the collapse of my marriage. I have been really happy, all things considered. It's been nice developing some new interests and connecting with my 7-year old son in a much more meaningful way.
However, I want to start trying again - although it feels like the first time. I have to say, I'm terrified. I'm coming out of a marriage in which my ex made me feel like crap about myself. To maintain a decent level of confidence I've been hitting the gym ever since my split, maybe 5 months now. I'm still pretty slender though and I know there are better looking guys out there so I don't even know where to start. I have trouble meeting people at 'normal' places, and even a couple of Meetup Groups I'm part of. I have a couple of dating apps which are terrible, btw. Not only does no one want to chat in any meaningful way, but the types of people you meet there, not the kind I want to be seeing. I even stooped so far as to post on Craigslist (for platonic friends though), I actually had a couple of responses there and I met a couple of women, one of which I kind of started dating. She is horrible for me, in every way imaginable, and I know that, but because she is paying me at least a little bit of attention, I am still around. She is the exact opposite of my ex, maybe that's why there is some attraction? Either way, she describes us as being 'in limbo' and she talks frequently about her ex and a couple of other guys that are pursuing her... I loathe myslf for not running from this woman.
Ugh, I actually was much better off without anyone and not having to worry about this crap. Maybe I was MEANT to be alone? Any suggestions for a clueless guy like myself if I want to find a decent woman (outside of stop posting on CL and using apps)? I feel like I have to settle... even though I am a really good guy - loyal, trustworthy, compassionate and treats women extremely well. I just feel like I can't get past the physical attraction stage (meaning, I'm just worried there is no one attracted enough to me to want to give me a shot - I'm scared of rejection, like anyone else).
Honestly, I was doing pretty good on my own, you know - simply coping with the collapse of my marriage. I have been really happy, all things considered. It's been nice developing some new interests and connecting with my 7-year old son in a much more meaningful way.
However, I want to start trying again - although it feels like the first time. I have to say, I'm terrified. I'm coming out of a marriage in which my ex made me feel like crap about myself. To maintain a decent level of confidence I've been hitting the gym ever since my split, maybe 5 months now. I'm still pretty slender though and I know there are better looking guys out there so I don't even know where to start. I have trouble meeting people at 'normal' places, and even a couple of Meetup Groups I'm part of. I have a couple of dating apps which are terrible, btw. Not only does no one want to chat in any meaningful way, but the types of people you meet there, not the kind I want to be seeing. I even stooped so far as to post on Craigslist (for platonic friends though), I actually had a couple of responses there and I met a couple of women, one of which I kind of started dating. She is horrible for me, in every way imaginable, and I know that, but because she is paying me at least a little bit of attention, I am still around. She is the exact opposite of my ex, maybe that's why there is some attraction? Either way, she describes us as being 'in limbo' and she talks frequently about her ex and a couple of other guys that are pursuing her... I loathe myslf for not running from this woman.
Ugh, I actually was much better off without anyone and not having to worry about this crap. Maybe I was MEANT to be alone? Any suggestions for a clueless guy like myself if I want to find a decent woman (outside of stop posting on CL and using apps)? I feel like I have to settle... even though I am a really good guy - loyal, trustworthy, compassionate and treats women extremely well. I just feel like I can't get past the physical attraction stage (meaning, I'm just worried there is no one attracted enough to me to want to give me a shot - I'm scared of rejection, like anyone else).
Put the internet to work for you.
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