I wasn't really sure where to put this.
I had another cosmetic surgery on Nov. 12. It was a tummy tuck. My first cosmetic surgery, a breast augmentation, was back in April 2011. I was very happy with my breasts after the surgery. I have 3 kids and my surgery made me feel very confident again.
But with this tummy tuck, I feel incredibly stupid. At the time this seemed like a great idea, like it would fix everything. I thought my H would be more attracted to me and things would be okay.
I am 5'7" and 123 before the tummy tuck. My youngest is 7 months old now, I also have a 3 year old and an 8 year old (previous marriage). Before the surgery, I thought my stretch marks and loose skin were disgusting and excessive. Now that I've had time to browse the Internet and looking at real women after having children, I realize that my body was NOT that bad at all!! In fact, you could hardly tell unless I bent over.
The surgeon had to make a vertical incision in addition to the hip to hip scar I have now because there really wasn't enough loose skin and I have a long torso.
It hurts so much and I can't do much right now. I have a new belly button and two holes in my pubic area where the drains were. ugh.
I am sitting here by myself while my kids are playing downstairs and my H is not paying attention to them while he is playing his stupid ps3. This surgery isn't going to fix anything. I am so stupid for risking my life to try and please him. He says now that he feels like an a$$ for telling me he didn't like my tummy after kids, but that doesn't make it any better. He says he feels horrible that I am going through this pain just for him, but I don't believe him.
I traded my stretchmarks in for a long ugly scar, burning muscles, an aching back, and bruised sides from lipo. Why? I don't know why I couldn't just be happy with myself. I have 4 months left of school and hopefully, I can get a job pretty quick. I've told my H that after everything...I can't promise that I won't leave once I've established myself. He says he knows but he is going to try to make up for his crap.
Is that wrong? I feel like I am using him while I finish school. I love him, but I think it's wrong for us to stay together considering the damage I have allowed myself to undergo (mentally).
He has tried and I appreciate his efforts. When he is home, he is here. He spends time with the kids. Most of the time, he isn't trying to watch tv or play video games (unlike today). He spends quality time with them. At night he comes upstairs and we watch our shows together or before the surgery, we had sex, talked, whatever. The last 2 months he has really tried. But, I can't take the screw ups - which I know are going to happen. He deploys again in 6 months. I can't trust him at all and I am just supposed to have faith that he won't do it again?
Maybe it's the pain meds that is really depressing me out today, but I really feel like I want to finish school and leave because I've given him chances for 5 years. I've done extreme things to try to make him happy. I'm 29. I don't want to spend my life waiting for him to grow up.
I had another cosmetic surgery on Nov. 12. It was a tummy tuck. My first cosmetic surgery, a breast augmentation, was back in April 2011. I was very happy with my breasts after the surgery. I have 3 kids and my surgery made me feel very confident again.
But with this tummy tuck, I feel incredibly stupid. At the time this seemed like a great idea, like it would fix everything. I thought my H would be more attracted to me and things would be okay.
I am 5'7" and 123 before the tummy tuck. My youngest is 7 months old now, I also have a 3 year old and an 8 year old (previous marriage). Before the surgery, I thought my stretch marks and loose skin were disgusting and excessive. Now that I've had time to browse the Internet and looking at real women after having children, I realize that my body was NOT that bad at all!! In fact, you could hardly tell unless I bent over.
The surgeon had to make a vertical incision in addition to the hip to hip scar I have now because there really wasn't enough loose skin and I have a long torso.
It hurts so much and I can't do much right now. I have a new belly button and two holes in my pubic area where the drains were. ugh.
I am sitting here by myself while my kids are playing downstairs and my H is not paying attention to them while he is playing his stupid ps3. This surgery isn't going to fix anything. I am so stupid for risking my life to try and please him. He says now that he feels like an a$$ for telling me he didn't like my tummy after kids, but that doesn't make it any better. He says he feels horrible that I am going through this pain just for him, but I don't believe him.
I traded my stretchmarks in for a long ugly scar, burning muscles, an aching back, and bruised sides from lipo. Why? I don't know why I couldn't just be happy with myself. I have 4 months left of school and hopefully, I can get a job pretty quick. I've told my H that after everything...I can't promise that I won't leave once I've established myself. He says he knows but he is going to try to make up for his crap.
Is that wrong? I feel like I am using him while I finish school. I love him, but I think it's wrong for us to stay together considering the damage I have allowed myself to undergo (mentally).
He has tried and I appreciate his efforts. When he is home, he is here. He spends time with the kids. Most of the time, he isn't trying to watch tv or play video games (unlike today). He spends quality time with them. At night he comes upstairs and we watch our shows together or before the surgery, we had sex, talked, whatever. The last 2 months he has really tried. But, I can't take the screw ups - which I know are going to happen. He deploys again in 6 months. I can't trust him at all and I am just supposed to have faith that he won't do it again?
Maybe it's the pain meds that is really depressing me out today, but I really feel like I want to finish school and leave because I've given him chances for 5 years. I've done extreme things to try to make him happy. I'm 29. I don't want to spend my life waiting for him to grow up.
Put the internet to work for you.
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