So I've posted in a few other threads and now feel time to share my story.
My wife left me 2 months ago telling me she was no longer happy after 7 years of marriage. My wife had cheated on me with a coworker awhile back and I found out. By the time I found out she had already ended it and after living apart for a few weeks decided to work on our marriage. We hit the ground running and invested 100% into our marriage. Things were going extremely well, and I was handling her infidelity much better than I would have ever imagine, but still thought of it often, and it spoiled large portions of my day at times.
Anyway, now we are here, separated. At first I begged and pleaded for her to stay. I did all the wrong things. I started reading this site and tried to implement the 180. I did well, but we still ended up having sex a few times and I would get weak and tell her I missed her. Everytime she comes over to pick up the kids or whatever, she balls her eyes out, tells me she hates her life, hates being without me, feels like she made a mistake by leaving. If this would have been 3 weeks ago, I'd probably would have tried to work on things. However, it's like in the last 3 weeks I've really taken a lot of personal strides. I feel like I've detached from her emotionally. In fact, I really don't even want to be around her. I don't give a rip about what she does in her free time, which is odd, because it practically consumed me in the first month. Although I was devastated when she left, a part of me now thinks that maybe I have been detaching since her affair.
I've really been having a lot of fun lately as I've posted in a few other threads. I'm getting a huge amount of attention from girls, which is helping with my self-confidence issues. I'm kind of having a fling with a girl right now from out of town. I haven't had sex with her because I'm still feeling pretty guilty about her. She's cool though and although I'm not sure I'm ready, I don't want to just throw her away, so for now I'm just chatting with her and when we get together we make-out. Nothing serious at all. I've told her everything and told her a relationship is out of the question and she was cool with it.
So basically, I think my wife wants to try and make things work but I don't. I think it's entirely possible that I'm just going through a phase were I'm getting attention from girls and it's making me forget about her. But all I can think about is just moving on with my life. Selling our marital home and getting a little place of my own and just living my life. I really don't know what to do cause I'm not sure I want to tell my wife it's over 100%. I guess the cards are almost reversed in a sense where she is my plan B. It's just that I don't know whether she is actually my plan B, or if I'm just a little numb towards her for everything she put me through.
I appreciate any advice, and also wanted to add, I've decided to go to counselling for this as well.
My wife left me 2 months ago telling me she was no longer happy after 7 years of marriage. My wife had cheated on me with a coworker awhile back and I found out. By the time I found out she had already ended it and after living apart for a few weeks decided to work on our marriage. We hit the ground running and invested 100% into our marriage. Things were going extremely well, and I was handling her infidelity much better than I would have ever imagine, but still thought of it often, and it spoiled large portions of my day at times.
Anyway, now we are here, separated. At first I begged and pleaded for her to stay. I did all the wrong things. I started reading this site and tried to implement the 180. I did well, but we still ended up having sex a few times and I would get weak and tell her I missed her. Everytime she comes over to pick up the kids or whatever, she balls her eyes out, tells me she hates her life, hates being without me, feels like she made a mistake by leaving. If this would have been 3 weeks ago, I'd probably would have tried to work on things. However, it's like in the last 3 weeks I've really taken a lot of personal strides. I feel like I've detached from her emotionally. In fact, I really don't even want to be around her. I don't give a rip about what she does in her free time, which is odd, because it practically consumed me in the first month. Although I was devastated when she left, a part of me now thinks that maybe I have been detaching since her affair.
I've really been having a lot of fun lately as I've posted in a few other threads. I'm getting a huge amount of attention from girls, which is helping with my self-confidence issues. I'm kind of having a fling with a girl right now from out of town. I haven't had sex with her because I'm still feeling pretty guilty about her. She's cool though and although I'm not sure I'm ready, I don't want to just throw her away, so for now I'm just chatting with her and when we get together we make-out. Nothing serious at all. I've told her everything and told her a relationship is out of the question and she was cool with it.
So basically, I think my wife wants to try and make things work but I don't. I think it's entirely possible that I'm just going through a phase were I'm getting attention from girls and it's making me forget about her. But all I can think about is just moving on with my life. Selling our marital home and getting a little place of my own and just living my life. I really don't know what to do cause I'm not sure I want to tell my wife it's over 100%. I guess the cards are almost reversed in a sense where she is my plan B. It's just that I don't know whether she is actually my plan B, or if I'm just a little numb towards her for everything she put me through.
I appreciate any advice, and also wanted to add, I've decided to go to counselling for this as well.
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