| ive been with DH for 11yrs married for 9. We had been married for almost 2yrs when at a friends funeral i noticed some ''behaviour'' between DH and a girl he worked with. I did some digging and found chat logs on our pc, confronted him and he tried to deny it but eventually admitted he had been seeing her for a few months, no sex involved, more an EA. I was devastated. We worked through it and stayed together, and although the trust has never been back to 100pc it wasnt far off. That was almost 7 yrs ago, then at xmas hubby went out on works xmas do, and after xmas started going out more with the ppl from work, and going round one persons house with them all, which i was ok with as hes always been pretty quiet and not a big socialiser. Then one night he went out and 5/6 am he still wasnt home, so i did check his fb, and there was a msg from a girls bf asking if she was with DH, then it dissappeared, he had obviously read it and deleted it. This made me a litle suspicious, i fell asleep and hed come home and gone oout to work by time i had woke up so i txt him and called his bluff, i said ''i know your hiding and deleting msgs, so u best tell me whats going on'' to which he replied ''will talk when i get home, i do love you' he came home and said he had become friends with this girl at work, there was nothing in it, it waqs just friends, she has a BF and we txt and talk cos we both have some problems and stuff in common. alarm bells rang cos its just like history repeating itself. He said he could talk to her about how he was feeling but not to me as he knew i would be upset, he said he didnt tell me about being friends with her cos of history and knew i wouldnt like it. he said he deleted all the txts and msgs cos he knew some of what he had said would upset me and i wouldnt like the friendship. so he then said he would stop all the txting and was sorry. I then found out a week later they had been txting more than ever and confronted him, and he admitted he hadnt stopped at all. He then said he was unhappy and that he didnt know if he still wanted to be with me any more, but that he still loved me and was confused. Im completely hurt and feel betrayed by all the lies just for the sake of a friendship. Im totally paranoid now about this girl, i hate her and ive never met her. Then a couple of nights ago, my teenage daughter started an argument with me, got completely out of hand and we all endd up upset. Then she did it the next night aswell, but DH stormed out of the house, turned his fone off and wouldnt speak to me. Apparently my daughter said it was her fault he walked as they had already spoken and he asked her not to start another argument, which she did, and he couldnt handle it. DD then called her father who came and took her to her grans for the night, i was still trying to call DH to come home, he then msg me on fb saying he wasnt coming home and was staying at a 'friends' house but wouldnt tell me who but immediately added it wasnt that girl. I sat up and cried all night totally distraught and he finally turned his fone back on at 9am, when i msg him on fb and asked him to come home before work at 3 and he refused, he wouldnt pick up his fone and speak to me or still tell me where he was. eventually he called me and said he loved me bu t couldnt handle the argument and had stayed at the house of another woman he works with. (who i dont have a problem with) but now i just feel like he does as he pleases and it doesnt matter about me. he says he cares and he still loves me but im so confused. I understand we all have problems but i could so easily have walked out on him over all these things but i never have, and now i feel the people at work are making it all far to easy for him to walk out on me whenever he pleases, i dont know what hes telling them about it all, probably not the truth all things considered. I just feel why the hell do i want to stay with him when i feel like hes treating me like crap. But i do love him. Im in bits, i dont know if im coming or going, i feel like i dont know him right now. I even said to him sometimes ive considered going out and having a full blown affair so he would know what being hurt feels like, his reply was, ''but i know you would never hurt me or do anything like th at''. I just dont feel like i know whats going on or what he really wants, i dont know if hes telling me the truth or feeding me a pack of lies, i just dont know right now. I try talking to him but he just seems oblivious to the damage hes causing. sorry this is an essay, theres prob stuff ive forgotten to put in and all sorts, my head is just so messed up i cant concentrate properly. | |||
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