Just found out...need advice :(

So here's my situation, My wife of nearly six years just told me that she has been cheating on my for the last two months, starting in late February. March 4th we found out she was 5 weeks pregnant (so definitely mine......I think???). She said its some guy I don't know and that they slept together twice, once before and once after we found out about the baby. I'm SO freaking upset, and hurt, and confused, and sick to my stomach. I've been doing nothing but reading about infidelity online since I found out. I had to leave the house, cause I just can't look at my wife. I've been staying at a hotel and don't know what to do from here. I keep going back and forth between feelings of despair and thinking "How can I ever love her again?" to hopefulness because I read stories of people who's marriage is supposedly better after an affair. Most of the time though I feel like I would leave her if not for the baby. I mean, that's MY KID (our first). I don't want that kid to grow up with split up parents. I don't want partial visitation rights, I want him/her to grow up in a solid household with two loving biological parents, like i did. If I leave my wife, it will ruin her. She is so ashamed of what she's done and she is SOOOOO sorry. I can't imagine her having to face our families and friends and admit to her cheating on me as we were trying/were newly pregnant. She'd be humiliated and crushed....and she already has self image/self esteem issues. When I think of the hurt it would cause if I left her, and the damage it would cause to my future kids life, I think there's no way I can leave her. I think that we can just keep this quiet from everyone, get counseling at a different church, and work through this... BUT HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET OVER THIS!?! ALL i can think about is her F$*$ing another guy! WITH MY BABY GROWING INSIDE HER! AUGH!!!!!! How can I ever get over that? I don't want to live a miserable life with a sham marriage just cause I think it would be "good" for my kid. I know raising kids in a broken marriage can be just as bad, or worse than raising them in two different households. I DO love her, I always have. We were high school sweethearts and have been together for over 12 years now. If I knew that we could get back to a loving marriage and I could forgive her, then I should try for that in order to provide the right life for my kid....but I'm so torn, because if there were no kid, I think I'd be gone, so then I feel like I'm justifying doing the "wrong" thing just because of a child. I don't know what to do, I'm sorry this is so long. Where do I go from here? I had to miss the first ultrasound cause of work, but I was so excited for the next one in a few weeks.... NOW..... This was supposed to be the start of something so special (becoming a FAMILY!) and I feel like she's stolen that from me. I also feel so pressured, because if this IS going to get reconciled, I feel like I have 7 months to do it, and from everything I read, its a MUCH LONGER process. :(

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