| I am 43 and my wife of 18 years is 39. For the first 10 years or our marriage I was the bread winner, independent, confident and pretty damned happy. However, she always felt that my place was at home and was extremely unhappy when I would be down the street at a friends house, or away on a camping trip, etc. Her unhappiness got so unbearable, that I relented and spent most of my time with her and therefore, forfeiting any shred of (what I would consider) healthy independence. We began having children eight years ago whilst she was working on her college degree. Two and a half years ago, after our third child was born, we did a MAJOR role reversal in that I quit my outside job, in order to 1)work out of the house, 2)home school our children in order to 3)give her the freedom to began her new career. Now, I find myself home alone with the children A LOT (night and day)! The past two weeks, she has been coming home at 2AM in the morning anebr iated stating that she is at a work function or "MIXER" as it is called in her business. However, I have discovered that she has been LYING to me about what she has been doing. Oddly, she is spending a ridiculous amount of time with a 25 year old, SINGLE female nursing student. No, it's not a lesbian thing, but rather a "I want to be young and free" thing. She has lied on top of other lies in as well as offered sex to me so that I will not complain and ruin her fun. This dishonesty is new in our relationship and I am, quite frankly TERRIFIED!!!! I confronted her two days ago and told her that the lying and coming home drunk several nights during the week are unacceptable. She said that I was "smothering her" and trying to "control" her. She also stated that I did not want her to have friends. Of course, she has friends her own age which she has done things with in the past (which I had no problem as it was, IMHO, normal behavior for a 39yr old married mother of thre e children). We went to a counselor that same day. I felt better that night, but yesterday and today, the lying keeps going through my head. I feel like I am competing for the attention of my wife, with a 25yr old, single GIRL!!!! I am depressed, in despair as I type this and I have no idea how to change this. I feel stranded in this situation of being at home while my wife is out partying and lying to me about it so that I will not revolt. I know that she loves me but she also knows that I am miserable. Any thoughts or advice are welcome! |
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