Hurt is almost unbearable at times...

My wife of 16 years moved out a little over a month ago to work on getting better emotionally after years of a rough marriage where i didn't be the husband that i should've been. No cheating, or no physical abuse, although looking back, i was probably what you would consider verbally abusive at times. Anyhow, she feels right now that she "doesn't know if she could ever trust me with her heart again". Over the last 8 months i have been working on myself and making positive changes in my life so that i can be the man i never was, and husband i never was, and have more of a relationship with my kids that i never really had. For months now, my kids (especially my teen son) and i get along better now than we ever have. It's because we saw each other where we were, and have made the effort to work on the relationship. Right now, my wife is still too hurt and angry at me to really be open to any of that, and i don't really know what its going to take to get her to that point. I would absolutely be devastated if she makes no effort at all to get better and just eventually divorces without even making an effort at giving me, or us a chance to show that im not the same person. I've also recently started solo counseling for me because really, im man enough to admit that i cant do this on my own. I love her so much, and its taken me getting to my lowest to see what she truly means to me, and how wrong i was. I've told her all of this as well, and right now, her walls are just to big and i can't get through... So all i can do is just keep working on me, loving on her as much as i am able to, and pray that at some point soon she will see that i am truly making efforts to be who i never was.

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