I've heard it said many, many times that a man's #1 need in a marriage is respect/honor. Sex is a close 2nd, but respect trumps all. I tend to agree with that because if I feel disrespected, I couldn't care less about having sex with my wife. I say all that to ask for input from both the men and women on a very specific incident that happened a few weeks ago. Men, my question to you is: Would you find this disrepectful, or that your wife "didn't have your back". Ladies, would you do something like this or see it as "not having your husbands back"? Here's the story....
A few weeks ago we got a bill in the mail from a dentist that had done a root canal on me last January(2014). It's important to mention that I went to this dentist because he's a member of my wife's networking group and she wanted to do business with him in hopes that he would send her business. He was very expensive, but my wife thought it was an "investment" in her business, so I went..
After the work was done, we set up a payment plan and he did an auto payment every month on our debit card. Unknowingly, the debit card expired 6 months ago and I had no idea. So we get a bill for about $2,000 and I hit the roof. Not only did I believe the balance had already been paid, but we heard nothing from the dentist informing us that their attempts to take the payments kept being declined. No phone call, no letter, nothing. So, I called the dentist and asked why they hadn't tried to contact us sooner and that this would have been an easy fix if they had just told us. While I was on the phone I asked the dentist "Since it's been 6 months since the card expired and since the balance would have been paid in full by now, would you take a 1 time payment of $1,200 and be done with it"? He declined my offer, saying that he didn't believe he should discount his services just because of this situation. I didn't disagree, but I thought maybe he'd prefer $1,200 in his pock et right then and there, rather than dragging out the payments for several more months. I gave him the number on the new debit card and that was the end of it.
I came home and told my wife of our conversation and she was PISSED! She couldn't believe I had made an offer like that to him. Had it been just any other dentist, she probably wouldn't have cared, but this was one of her networking relationships.
A couple of days later I mentioned it in passing and she said "I paid that balance in full". I couldn't believe it. It was a 0% interest payment plan. Why drop $2,000 when he would have simply picked up where he left off 6 months ago? Who turns down a 0% interest loan? LOL She then tells me "I was so upset that you made him a settlement offer that I called them, made the payment, and APOLOGIZED TO HIM FOR WHAT YOU HAD DONE!
I hit the F'ing roof! I was hot!!!!! "YOU DID WHAT?!". "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT". In no uncertain terms, I said "You apologized for me, to someone you hardly know, simply because you could potentially make money on that relationship"? "Is that relationship more important to you than our marriage". "Are you more concerned with what they think of you than you are with us being united"? She doubled down and stood by her actions. She said "You were wrong for doing that" and never either admitted wrong or apologized. My response was "I don't care how wrong you think I was. You don't say that to anyone but me". "You can tell me behind closed doors that you think I was wrong, but we stand united in front of others. You have my back and I have your back, and when we get home, then we can discuss how we really don't support what one of us does. But we never let that get out of our home and we never display that to anyone else".
So, am I going overboard for feeling like that was a disrespectful thing for her to do? She literally told the dentist, "My husband was wrong for doing that". Ladies, would you do something like this? Men, would you feel similarly to what I felt? I'm really wondering if I was being overly sensitive. Thanks
A few weeks ago we got a bill in the mail from a dentist that had done a root canal on me last January(2014). It's important to mention that I went to this dentist because he's a member of my wife's networking group and she wanted to do business with him in hopes that he would send her business. He was very expensive, but my wife thought it was an "investment" in her business, so I went..
After the work was done, we set up a payment plan and he did an auto payment every month on our debit card. Unknowingly, the debit card expired 6 months ago and I had no idea. So we get a bill for about $2,000 and I hit the roof. Not only did I believe the balance had already been paid, but we heard nothing from the dentist informing us that their attempts to take the payments kept being declined. No phone call, no letter, nothing. So, I called the dentist and asked why they hadn't tried to contact us sooner and that this would have been an easy fix if they had just told us. While I was on the phone I asked the dentist "Since it's been 6 months since the card expired and since the balance would have been paid in full by now, would you take a 1 time payment of $1,200 and be done with it"? He declined my offer, saying that he didn't believe he should discount his services just because of this situation. I didn't disagree, but I thought maybe he'd prefer $1,200 in his pock et right then and there, rather than dragging out the payments for several more months. I gave him the number on the new debit card and that was the end of it.
I came home and told my wife of our conversation and she was PISSED! She couldn't believe I had made an offer like that to him. Had it been just any other dentist, she probably wouldn't have cared, but this was one of her networking relationships.
A couple of days later I mentioned it in passing and she said "I paid that balance in full". I couldn't believe it. It was a 0% interest payment plan. Why drop $2,000 when he would have simply picked up where he left off 6 months ago? Who turns down a 0% interest loan? LOL She then tells me "I was so upset that you made him a settlement offer that I called them, made the payment, and APOLOGIZED TO HIM FOR WHAT YOU HAD DONE!
I hit the F'ing roof! I was hot!!!!! "YOU DID WHAT?!". "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT". In no uncertain terms, I said "You apologized for me, to someone you hardly know, simply because you could potentially make money on that relationship"? "Is that relationship more important to you than our marriage". "Are you more concerned with what they think of you than you are with us being united"? She doubled down and stood by her actions. She said "You were wrong for doing that" and never either admitted wrong or apologized. My response was "I don't care how wrong you think I was. You don't say that to anyone but me". "You can tell me behind closed doors that you think I was wrong, but we stand united in front of others. You have my back and I have your back, and when we get home, then we can discuss how we really don't support what one of us does. But we never let that get out of our home and we never display that to anyone else".
So, am I going overboard for feeling like that was a disrespectful thing for her to do? She literally told the dentist, "My husband was wrong for doing that". Ladies, would you do something like this? Men, would you feel similarly to what I felt? I'm really wondering if I was being overly sensitive. Thanks
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment