I'm very sorry if this is too long, but please spare time, and give comments.
Hi i'm 28 and my wife is 33.
I'm asian, and english is not my mother language.
We have been married for 7.5 years, from august 2008.
My first child, a daughter, born in nov 2008.
The pre marital sex is mostly her initiation, although i know the phrase, it takes 2 to tango.
We've just met less than a year before the marriage.
She is working as a salesgirl before, and shortly after the marriage. Then she quits her job around a year afterwards.
I worked part time as a music teacher, mostly at afternoons. So we share the babysitting accordingly.
Money is very tight.
I have some complaints like:
-She didn't have any job after she quit.
-She can be late for an hour or more.
-She can't keep a budget (buying unnecessary things or groceries without discussion)
-I have asked her to discuss everything before buying, but most of the time she just said yes, and ended not doing it.
-I can push her to do that, but if i loosened up the grip, she will do it again.
-I have asked her to make a cashflow book, she didn't do it happily, and 'any' reason can come up not to fill the cashflow book.
Lately i've been working on a full shift, quite far from our home.
I can only come home once a week, on the weekend. Because the gasoline price is ridiculous for daily usage.
-She cooks and sells for profit, but only less than 10 portion per day.
-She did do the laundry for 3 of us (i only have 4 tops and 2 bottoms per week)
-She cooks mostly instant foods for us.
-She only cleans up our room, 8m x 4m.
-She always ask for a ride when it's time for grocery shopping (60% would be snacks, 38% instant foods, 2% fresh meats / vegetables).
I have to force her to go to market at least twice a week to get fresh foods, but i don't want to force.
Many complaints is similar to those.
I think she either don't like being told what to do, or just a slacker.
My question is, what am i dealing with here?
A slacker, a rebel, an old child?
Any comments would be very appreciated.
Just for information, according to online mbti tests, i'm an intj, and she is an estj. I'm only saying this, wondering if these have any relation to my problem.
Hi i'm 28 and my wife is 33.
I'm asian, and english is not my mother language.
We have been married for 7.5 years, from august 2008.
My first child, a daughter, born in nov 2008.
The pre marital sex is mostly her initiation, although i know the phrase, it takes 2 to tango.
We've just met less than a year before the marriage.
She is working as a salesgirl before, and shortly after the marriage. Then she quits her job around a year afterwards.
I worked part time as a music teacher, mostly at afternoons. So we share the babysitting accordingly.
Money is very tight.
I have some complaints like:
-She didn't have any job after she quit.
-She can be late for an hour or more.
-She can't keep a budget (buying unnecessary things or groceries without discussion)
-I have asked her to discuss everything before buying, but most of the time she just said yes, and ended not doing it.
-I can push her to do that, but if i loosened up the grip, she will do it again.
-I have asked her to make a cashflow book, she didn't do it happily, and 'any' reason can come up not to fill the cashflow book.
Lately i've been working on a full shift, quite far from our home.
I can only come home once a week, on the weekend. Because the gasoline price is ridiculous for daily usage.
-She cooks and sells for profit, but only less than 10 portion per day.
-She did do the laundry for 3 of us (i only have 4 tops and 2 bottoms per week)
-She cooks mostly instant foods for us.
-She only cleans up our room, 8m x 4m.
-She always ask for a ride when it's time for grocery shopping (60% would be snacks, 38% instant foods, 2% fresh meats / vegetables).
I have to force her to go to market at least twice a week to get fresh foods, but i don't want to force.
Many complaints is similar to those.
I think she either don't like being told what to do, or just a slacker.
My question is, what am i dealing with here?
A slacker, a rebel, an old child?
Any comments would be very appreciated.
Just for information, according to online mbti tests, i'm an intj, and she is an estj. I'm only saying this, wondering if these have any relation to my problem.
Put the internet to work for you.
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