I'm not looking for a theological debate. I'm interested in hearing thoughts on how to make things work in the marriage and with raising children. I grew up in a religious setting. 10 years ago I met my wife with the premise that I was a christian albeit in need of work, and with aspirations of becoming a better christian. After the birth of our son 7 years ago I started having doubts. I started reading sources, listening to podcasts, and thinking outside the comforts of pro christian views. I've always had some doubts but was nervous of venturing away from pro christian sources to find my answers.
So here I am today. A solid atheist. I've never felt better nor more liberated in my spiritual views - well lack there of. However my wife is very much a christian and wants to increase our christian activities - like go to church more etc.
Here's the rub: our kids. At this point I'm ok with them going to church and believing in things like Noah and the bible. In fact I think it paints a better picture for questions on death - oh grandma is in heaven and we'll see her again someday. I think theres nothing wrong with these views...for now. But i've made it crystal clear to my wife that when the time comes when they are in early teens (or sooner) and they develop deeper cognitive abilities and question things, I'll not hold back my knowledge or what current history, archeology, science etc... has to say about things.
This is very challenging for my wife. Our marriage is rocky as it is. This puts more stress on it. Has anyone out there overcome such a difference in views. I feel like I betrayed her in a sense because when we met and during the first part of marriage I was very much pro christian and wanted to become a "stronger" christian. She married me under those conditions. I can no longer fulfill that. This isn't some mid-life crises either- You could sooner convince me that the Mormon, muslim, hindu religion is real. I'll never again believe in the bible. so it's not a phase. I think she hopes (and prays) that i'll return to faith. That will not happen. Id rather not divorce over this since I'm in this for the kids. But I dont want a hostile environment either.
I was sort of hoping that civilized discussions could ensue and she'd maybe listen to my side. She's never been one to explore the real history or reasons behind her beliefs. She's in the camp that the bible is real because it says so and God made it. The few little talks we have were disastrous resulting in her being offended. I think she's threatened by my views and is perhaps worried that it could impact her fragile faith. Secretly I was hoping to deconvert her to avoid this whole mess but instead it becomes an argument with her getting pissed.
So here I am today. A solid atheist. I've never felt better nor more liberated in my spiritual views - well lack there of. However my wife is very much a christian and wants to increase our christian activities - like go to church more etc.
Here's the rub: our kids. At this point I'm ok with them going to church and believing in things like Noah and the bible. In fact I think it paints a better picture for questions on death - oh grandma is in heaven and we'll see her again someday. I think theres nothing wrong with these views...for now. But i've made it crystal clear to my wife that when the time comes when they are in early teens (or sooner) and they develop deeper cognitive abilities and question things, I'll not hold back my knowledge or what current history, archeology, science etc... has to say about things.
This is very challenging for my wife. Our marriage is rocky as it is. This puts more stress on it. Has anyone out there overcome such a difference in views. I feel like I betrayed her in a sense because when we met and during the first part of marriage I was very much pro christian and wanted to become a "stronger" christian. She married me under those conditions. I can no longer fulfill that. This isn't some mid-life crises either- You could sooner convince me that the Mormon, muslim, hindu religion is real. I'll never again believe in the bible. so it's not a phase. I think she hopes (and prays) that i'll return to faith. That will not happen. Id rather not divorce over this since I'm in this for the kids. But I dont want a hostile environment either.
I was sort of hoping that civilized discussions could ensue and she'd maybe listen to my side. She's never been one to explore the real history or reasons behind her beliefs. She's in the camp that the bible is real because it says so and God made it. The few little talks we have were disastrous resulting in her being offended. I think she's threatened by my views and is perhaps worried that it could impact her fragile faith. Secretly I was hoping to deconvert her to avoid this whole mess but instead it becomes an argument with her getting pissed.
Put the internet to work for you.
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