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What am I doing wrong??

my dh and i have been married for 3 1/2 years. the entire 3 1/2 years have been nothing but pain and heartache for me. between the cheating and him being so irresponsible, i was just ready to jump off of a cliff. married in August and found out about the other woman in September.

back in August (2014) we had broken up and he went and got his own place. i tried reconciling with him so many times but it seems as if things were getting worse and worse. i felt like i had given him a chance to get closer and closer to his mistress every time we broke up. i'm not even sure why it hurts me so bad, because he was nothing but toxic to me and everything to her.

Every time we tried reconciling we would be back together for a week and then he'd disappear overnight with no calls or texts to let me know that he was not coming back. he'd tell me that he is but he never showed up. then when i'd call him (20 times lol) he'd never answer his phone. then i would speak to him the next afternoon and he'd give me some lame excuse as to why he never came home. here are some of the excuses.

1st - he was apprehended by police for some quesioning

2nd - he got lost coming back from out of state

3rd - he fell asleep (keep in mind, he was on his way to my house)

4th - he was so tired when he got home, so he went to sleep and forgot to call me and tell me that he was not coming.

after the 4th time, i just had enough and went and filed for divorce and went full no contact on him. blocked him out of everything and went on a 3 week vacation. finally after 1 1/2 months, he started texting me from random numbers and i started responding. i agreed to meet up with him for dinner and we ended up trying to reconcile again. he stayed with me for 4 nights straight and the 5th night, things started to go left again. he started checking out again, not communicating with me, so i was pretty much left in the dark. i didn't see him on day 5 or night. day 6 i saw him but he did not stay. and on day 7, he told me that he was coming over but he never showed up and when i called him, he never answered. usually i would send him a long nasty text message but this time i said nothing and i'm going full no contact again. and i will be leaving it that way.

is this a way to reconcile?? i know that it's not but he's so manipulative that sometimes i think this is ok. am i handling this correctly??

IFTTT

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