The threads on compassionate men, equality in dating, women desiring protectors and all of the Alpha stuff I see here inspired a thought or a theory I'd be curious to explore here. Bear with my broad generalizations; I'm not ignorant to the fact that there are many exceptions to the rule.
Usually societal changes occur over a long period of time but society is changing faster than ever. 100 years ago very few women worked out of the home, they didn't have the right to vote and most women's aspiration was to marry. Most men were expected to support their wives and children, go to war and basically were in charge of everything.
In only a few generations (which overlap and significantly impact the next generation) suddenly (in terms of the evolution of tradition) women are expected to earn just as much, pay half, men are expected to be nurturing and equally able to manage a home and children, all while the stereotypes of 100 years before are really only just beginning to wane.
My thought is, did we have time to adjust? Aren't we still in the "figuring it out" phase? Girls are still mostly complimented on looks and seen as weak (remember the "like a girl" campaign) and boys are still considered powerful and logical. Boys are told to suck it up when they cry why girls are soothed so children aren't groomed to be prepared for an adult life of equality. Think of the woman who gets choked up in a board meeting due to criticism – she wasn't taught to suck it up. Think of the male who feels a little insecure because his date who earns more than he does, insists on paying the tab – a woman wouldn't feel insecure when a man insists on treating her.
And biology still dictates some inequities – boys are generally physically stronger and bigger; girls have an advantage in reading facial expressions and emotion. I don't know if it's a feeling of personal values being threatened or maybe an unease at not knowing one's "place" but there seems to be an increase in gender-on-gender insults. Boys teasing boys who are weaker instead of being supportive of what they CAN do, girls teasing other girls if they aren't pretty enough instead of being supportive of their brains or athleticism. Heck most music is all about a girl's appearance or her sexuality and ability/desire to please. Whether rap, country, pop, etc. you rarely hear about a girl's other attributes and most songs about men aren't very uplifting – about their cheating or conquering; a few about looks but there are more.
I think we still have a long way to go in accepting equal but different. When comparing one facet of a person it's easy to rank where one might be better or fall short, but I think it evens out. It's going to take some time for these changes to happen and meantime there will be some growing pains.
In another 100 years I hope people are people regardless of gender and ethnicity, each with their own unique set of strengths and weaknesses; each seeking a partner who complements them and brings out the best in one another.
Do you think these stereotypical views are in conflict with what modern relationship advice is telling us? Could some of that dissension be causing some difficulty in adjusting to new expectations? Please chime in.
Usually societal changes occur over a long period of time but society is changing faster than ever. 100 years ago very few women worked out of the home, they didn't have the right to vote and most women's aspiration was to marry. Most men were expected to support their wives and children, go to war and basically were in charge of everything.
In only a few generations (which overlap and significantly impact the next generation) suddenly (in terms of the evolution of tradition) women are expected to earn just as much, pay half, men are expected to be nurturing and equally able to manage a home and children, all while the stereotypes of 100 years before are really only just beginning to wane.
My thought is, did we have time to adjust? Aren't we still in the "figuring it out" phase? Girls are still mostly complimented on looks and seen as weak (remember the "like a girl" campaign) and boys are still considered powerful and logical. Boys are told to suck it up when they cry why girls are soothed so children aren't groomed to be prepared for an adult life of equality. Think of the woman who gets choked up in a board meeting due to criticism – she wasn't taught to suck it up. Think of the male who feels a little insecure because his date who earns more than he does, insists on paying the tab – a woman wouldn't feel insecure when a man insists on treating her.
And biology still dictates some inequities – boys are generally physically stronger and bigger; girls have an advantage in reading facial expressions and emotion. I don't know if it's a feeling of personal values being threatened or maybe an unease at not knowing one's "place" but there seems to be an increase in gender-on-gender insults. Boys teasing boys who are weaker instead of being supportive of what they CAN do, girls teasing other girls if they aren't pretty enough instead of being supportive of their brains or athleticism. Heck most music is all about a girl's appearance or her sexuality and ability/desire to please. Whether rap, country, pop, etc. you rarely hear about a girl's other attributes and most songs about men aren't very uplifting – about their cheating or conquering; a few about looks but there are more.
I think we still have a long way to go in accepting equal but different. When comparing one facet of a person it's easy to rank where one might be better or fall short, but I think it evens out. It's going to take some time for these changes to happen and meantime there will be some growing pains.
In another 100 years I hope people are people regardless of gender and ethnicity, each with their own unique set of strengths and weaknesses; each seeking a partner who complements them and brings out the best in one another.
Do you think these stereotypical views are in conflict with what modern relationship advice is telling us? Could some of that dissension be causing some difficulty in adjusting to new expectations? Please chime in.
Put the internet to work for you.
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