i'm a quiet, small person who always tries to be nice and friendly to anyone and everyone i meet. however i started to try and change as a person because i found that people were taking advantage of my nice-ness and walking all over me. i went to counseling and eventually worked on my assertiveness. its an on going learning process of course.
however i find that whenever i try to stand up for myself, without being aggressive, people/'friends' go on the defensive and eventually either fall out with me or end the friendship. now i know most people would say well that just shows you what theyre really like, as soon as i wont stand for their crap treatment of me anymore, they leave my life, so werent real friends in the first place. however i find that this happens with almost everyone, and im not exaggerating here..
a few examples, when ill stand up for myself and not take crap over minor things, but without blowing the lid and taking things out of proportion, simply stating how i feel about the situation and that i wont tolerate how im being treated, such as being disrespected, people respond by arguing that im wrong etc, when its obvious theyre in the wrong, instead of apologizing and trying to fix things..
its just getting a bit annoying i suppose. i either let people walk all over me and treat me like rubbish and still have friends in my life, or be assertive and everyone walks away.
not really sure what to do.
anyone had any similar experiences?
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