Hi all,
first post so please be gentle :)
Been married 17yrs and have 2 kids.
Over time, bringing a family up has put strain on our marriage. Wife and I both work full time in stressful jobs.
We did not spend much time together. About 4 months ago I aked to meet my wife for lunch but she turned me down and said that she wanted to spent lunch with work colleagues. I was a bit upset because I always cancelled work lunches to meet her. I told her how I felt and she laughed at me and did not believe me. She told me that she had many male friends at work and liked having banter with them and a bit of fun.
These felt like red flags to me. I then stated to read up on psychology of marriage on the net and brought a few books.
We started to read the books together and agreed to set boundaries:
1. Being open and honest
2. No one to ones with opposite sex in restaurants.
3. Me helping more around the house
4. More face to face time together
Things seemed to be going well until I noticed that she would always lock her computer when we worked from home. I aksed her to show me her emails as we had agreed to be open. She said no as I would see some mails to mail colleagues that I would interpret the wrong way. This of course set alarm bells wringing.
I feel really bad as we had agreed on being open and honest, yet the first time I asked for openess, she denied it. She has been hiding emails from me and then lieing to me about them.
What's the best way to proceed as I feel that I cannot trust her. She has probably deleted the emails now.
first post so please be gentle :)
Been married 17yrs and have 2 kids.
Over time, bringing a family up has put strain on our marriage. Wife and I both work full time in stressful jobs.
We did not spend much time together. About 4 months ago I aked to meet my wife for lunch but she turned me down and said that she wanted to spent lunch with work colleagues. I was a bit upset because I always cancelled work lunches to meet her. I told her how I felt and she laughed at me and did not believe me. She told me that she had many male friends at work and liked having banter with them and a bit of fun.
These felt like red flags to me. I then stated to read up on psychology of marriage on the net and brought a few books.
We started to read the books together and agreed to set boundaries:
1. Being open and honest
2. No one to ones with opposite sex in restaurants.
3. Me helping more around the house
4. More face to face time together
Things seemed to be going well until I noticed that she would always lock her computer when we worked from home. I aksed her to show me her emails as we had agreed to be open. She said no as I would see some mails to mail colleagues that I would interpret the wrong way. This of course set alarm bells wringing.
I feel really bad as we had agreed on being open and honest, yet the first time I asked for openess, she denied it. She has been hiding emails from me and then lieing to me about them.
What's the best way to proceed as I feel that I cannot trust her. She has probably deleted the emails now.
Put the internet to work for you.
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