*I had posted this elsewhere, but felt this was a better area for advice*
A year ago I discovered that my other half had been logging onto a site and chatting up girls. No meets and no emotional affairs, but dirty talk. I was heartbroken as it hit me out of the blue.
He went to therapy as he believed he had issued with his behaviour. This was something he had done many years before he and I had met and wanted to change his behaviour. I agreed to give things another shot as normally he makes me deliriously happy and it's been a great year. He has took all my worries, tears, angry spells and reassured me. He took ownership and never once blamed me, telling his parents what had happened and so forth. It was hard but so far, so good... but lately I had noticed his phone was back in his pocket and leaving the room with him a bit more than usual, which concerned me so queried this and he said there was nothing to worry about, that he's not doing it any more than usual. A few days later I'm using his phone (not snooping, we were at his parents house and I was trying to find a restaurant I had googled) and come across a porn search. Now the occasion watching of porn isn't an issue for me and he knows this, but what is is that there had been a cha nge in his behaviour (which is what id been told to look out for) and given the chance to be honest with me when I brought this up, he decided to lie to me and make me feel like I'm being paranoid. This is what hurts and once we got home, told him so. I told him I don't feel he can be trusted and how can a happy relationship work without one of the major building blocks?! He apologised and realised he should have fessed up, but was embarrassed and thought he may hurt my feelings (womanly insecure feelings). He understands my unhappiness and has agreed that if there is ever a question of his actions, he just be a man and be honest. So I feel like after what I thought was a great year post this traumatic discovery of his betrayal...and now I'm emotionally and mentally set back again. I kiss the ground this guy walks on, but I will walk away if I have to. Am I overthinking this blip or not? I do believe he has not gone back to chat sites talking to girls again. Thanks for readi ng x
A year ago I discovered that my other half had been logging onto a site and chatting up girls. No meets and no emotional affairs, but dirty talk. I was heartbroken as it hit me out of the blue.
He went to therapy as he believed he had issued with his behaviour. This was something he had done many years before he and I had met and wanted to change his behaviour. I agreed to give things another shot as normally he makes me deliriously happy and it's been a great year. He has took all my worries, tears, angry spells and reassured me. He took ownership and never once blamed me, telling his parents what had happened and so forth. It was hard but so far, so good... but lately I had noticed his phone was back in his pocket and leaving the room with him a bit more than usual, which concerned me so queried this and he said there was nothing to worry about, that he's not doing it any more than usual. A few days later I'm using his phone (not snooping, we were at his parents house and I was trying to find a restaurant I had googled) and come across a porn search. Now the occasion watching of porn isn't an issue for me and he knows this, but what is is that there had been a cha nge in his behaviour (which is what id been told to look out for) and given the chance to be honest with me when I brought this up, he decided to lie to me and make me feel like I'm being paranoid. This is what hurts and once we got home, told him so. I told him I don't feel he can be trusted and how can a happy relationship work without one of the major building blocks?! He apologised and realised he should have fessed up, but was embarrassed and thought he may hurt my feelings (womanly insecure feelings). He understands my unhappiness and has agreed that if there is ever a question of his actions, he just be a man and be honest. So I feel like after what I thought was a great year post this traumatic discovery of his betrayal...and now I'm emotionally and mentally set back again. I kiss the ground this guy walks on, but I will walk away if I have to. Am I overthinking this blip or not? I do believe he has not gone back to chat sites talking to girls again. Thanks for readi ng x
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment