Hi, I was wondering if anyone has had to deal with infidelity related to erectile dysfunction? This is what I'm facing with my wife. Our maririage had been rocky for a while and a reoccurring injury worsened resulting in my inability to achieve, or at least maintain a useful erection. This in turn created even more distance between my wife and I and ultimately contributed to her having an affair.
Obviously ED is no excuse for infidelity, but I know that both my wife and I share some of the blame for this situation. Our sex life, which was never great has always been a source of a bit of frustration in our marriage and this ultimately lead to more deep routed tension. Even before the injury sex had decreased so much in frequency that it caused a lot of problems between us.
For me my inability to 'perform' only compounded my insecurities and caused me to go from feeling frustrated and inadequate to something five times worse. And without a doubt I didn't handle this problem very well. I know I unfairly took out my frustrations on our relationship and frankly a lot of the times I just acted like a jerk.
And when I wasn't acting inappropriately I become uncommunicative and didn't engage very productively in our relationship. So I know I had a large role in what happened between us.
As for my wife she obviously didn't behave perfectly either. She's always been a bit frustrated with the physical part of our relationship and the onset of my ED only illuminated this issue. My lack of communication about my problem and attitude served to compound these deficiencies. I know she said things to me and then (eventually) did things that she now regrets. But we cant take things back.
I was wondering if anyone else has ever dealt with a similar or related issue. I know I still love my wife and desperately want to try to work things out with her. I believe that she still loves me and also wants to try to salvage our marriage but I think she's less certain. I know she is physically dissatisfied and the tension that results from this aspect of our relationship has not gone away. Otherwise things have actually been pretty good. Excluding this issue we've settled into a peaceful existence at home.
I would appreciate it if anyone has had any similar experience and would be willing to share their thoughts.
Neil
Obviously ED is no excuse for infidelity, but I know that both my wife and I share some of the blame for this situation. Our sex life, which was never great has always been a source of a bit of frustration in our marriage and this ultimately lead to more deep routed tension. Even before the injury sex had decreased so much in frequency that it caused a lot of problems between us.
For me my inability to 'perform' only compounded my insecurities and caused me to go from feeling frustrated and inadequate to something five times worse. And without a doubt I didn't handle this problem very well. I know I unfairly took out my frustrations on our relationship and frankly a lot of the times I just acted like a jerk.
And when I wasn't acting inappropriately I become uncommunicative and didn't engage very productively in our relationship. So I know I had a large role in what happened between us.
As for my wife she obviously didn't behave perfectly either. She's always been a bit frustrated with the physical part of our relationship and the onset of my ED only illuminated this issue. My lack of communication about my problem and attitude served to compound these deficiencies. I know she said things to me and then (eventually) did things that she now regrets. But we cant take things back.
I was wondering if anyone else has ever dealt with a similar or related issue. I know I still love my wife and desperately want to try to work things out with her. I believe that she still loves me and also wants to try to salvage our marriage but I think she's less certain. I know she is physically dissatisfied and the tension that results from this aspect of our relationship has not gone away. Otherwise things have actually been pretty good. Excluding this issue we've settled into a peaceful existence at home.
I would appreciate it if anyone has had any similar experience and would be willing to share their thoughts.
Neil
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