Well over the past three weeks or so I seem to have migrated thru this subforum, from considering separation, to being separated, to trying to reconcile and now to this one after the divorce.
Technically we haven't dissolved our marriage. We are going to see an attorney about a dissolution on Wednesday. Basically I have just come to accept the inevitable and no longer wish to fight over any of it.
The process of dividing our assets, has allowed me to see things that I had refused to see before. Basically the only emotion she has exhibited has been anger that her exit strategy might not be as lucrative for her as she had originally thought. Other than that, everything has pretty much been a stone wall.
We don't have much to fight over. We might make $20k from selling our house. She has a 401k and a 2013 car which is pretty much paid off. I guess I could go for the throat and demand my share. I have consulted an attorney who says that if it is contested I might end up paying spousal support because my new job will pay more than her job does. I don't really care about the money. The sad part of it is that after almost 20 years there really isn't even enough to get upset about.
If I go for the throat she has threatened that we will have NO relationship EVER. It isn't that I am still holding out hope for a reconciliation, but we do have grown children. The future has weddings, grandchildren, birthdays, holidays etc, etc, where we will inevitably come into contact with each other. I just don't care enough about the money to deal with the drama of a drawn our knock down drag out legal battle over $10k (not that there would me much left after the atty gets their share). I think, and so do many others that she is in for a rude awakening when the reality of her choices catch up to her. The extra $10k she is going to take probably won't go very far, but I will at least be able to say that her crash and burn was not my fault. That I had been more than fair and that I did the best I could.
She told me today that she doesn't love me anymore and had not for the past several years. She still insists that I need help because I am not the man she married. I can't change the way she feels. So I guess I am through trying.
I have a new job and will be moving across state. By all measures I am coming out of this in better shape than 99% of most people. No debt, some money in the bank, a new job, a new location, new home, opportunities to make new friends, start new (good) habits, break old (bad) bad habits and become the best me that I can be.
Technically we haven't dissolved our marriage. We are going to see an attorney about a dissolution on Wednesday. Basically I have just come to accept the inevitable and no longer wish to fight over any of it.
The process of dividing our assets, has allowed me to see things that I had refused to see before. Basically the only emotion she has exhibited has been anger that her exit strategy might not be as lucrative for her as she had originally thought. Other than that, everything has pretty much been a stone wall.
We don't have much to fight over. We might make $20k from selling our house. She has a 401k and a 2013 car which is pretty much paid off. I guess I could go for the throat and demand my share. I have consulted an attorney who says that if it is contested I might end up paying spousal support because my new job will pay more than her job does. I don't really care about the money. The sad part of it is that after almost 20 years there really isn't even enough to get upset about.
If I go for the throat she has threatened that we will have NO relationship EVER. It isn't that I am still holding out hope for a reconciliation, but we do have grown children. The future has weddings, grandchildren, birthdays, holidays etc, etc, where we will inevitably come into contact with each other. I just don't care enough about the money to deal with the drama of a drawn our knock down drag out legal battle over $10k (not that there would me much left after the atty gets their share). I think, and so do many others that she is in for a rude awakening when the reality of her choices catch up to her. The extra $10k she is going to take probably won't go very far, but I will at least be able to say that her crash and burn was not my fault. That I had been more than fair and that I did the best I could.
She told me today that she doesn't love me anymore and had not for the past several years. She still insists that I need help because I am not the man she married. I can't change the way she feels. So I guess I am through trying.
I have a new job and will be moving across state. By all measures I am coming out of this in better shape than 99% of most people. No debt, some money in the bank, a new job, a new location, new home, opportunities to make new friends, start new (good) habits, break old (bad) bad habits and become the best me that I can be.
Put the internet to work for you.
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