I've been married 7 years. I live in Texas, USA but my home is Canada. I knew my husband for 3 years before we married, he's much younger than me but pursued me nonstop. We talked in great length about the age difference and what that meant in the long run, I would eventually need to be looked after more and more. It got to the point where he would say we had talked about it enough. We got married April 2007. Unfortunately health problems set in with me much sooner than either one of us expected; fibromyalgia, autoimmune disorder, connective tissue disorder, diabetes, high blood pressure, polyarthropathy, neuoraphy, 2 bulging discs in my back, adenomyosis. Its a ridiculous list that has developed in the last 5 years.
Due to my health our sex life suffered and I couldn't sleep if I got 2 hours a night, I was doing good. I was put on Ambien to get the sleep that would help heal my body. It was great to sleep again, I was able to manage almost a 6 to 8 hours night sleep so when I started waking up with a start, I was baffled. My husband snores and has a habit of bouncing to turn over in bed I thought that was why I woke up but Ambien is a very powerful sleeping drug, I just got very bad feelings when I'd wake up like that and when I finally became aware of why I was waking with a start.. even now my stomach is sick speaking about it. I found out that my husband was having sex with me while I was knocked out on Ambien. The first time I realized it I woke up with him pulling the cover down behind be, I slept on my side facing away from him. I laid there shocked and my mind racing trying to piece the information together. I thought I had to have imagined it, it couldn't be real. A couple of nig hts later I woke up to find him inside me and pulling out fast trying to move away from me, I was so angry! I turned to him and told him if he ever did that again I would kill him. He said he didn't know what I was talking about. I felt disgust, betrayal, violated and then I realized I was raped by my own husband. I began getting a quilt and folding it over like a sleeping bag so I was closed off to him but I found I could no longer sleep even on the Ambien. The minute I started to fall asleep I'd jerk awake. Shortly after I moved into another bedroom and I've slept there for the last 5 years and 3 months. I haven't been able to stand his touch ever since.
I tried to talk to him about it but he just says I made it up, I dreamed it, I was drugged and didn't know what I was saying. A woman knows. She knows when something isn't right. I knew long before I knew for sure, there was just a sense of fear for no reason I could understand until I did understand. I've never talked about it with him again and I've never told anyone until right now. And now my husband wants a divorce because he says he's tired of me cringing from his touch.
I don't know how I let it go on for so long. It was like being asleep when I was awake. I don't know why I couldn't tell anyone.
He's angry at me for so many things. He says he's wasted his time and money on me. That I'm lazy and never attempted to get a job. We live in a place where there is no city transit of any kind and he has the only vehicle and I am prone to bad bouts with the fibro, neuropathy, the discs in my back. Sometimes my legs swell to at least three times their size, I don't think I could work if I wanted to and trust me I would like to just to get out and have some company and a place I could feel productive. So he has gotten a different bank account, claimed bankruptcy, bought a new car, comes and goes as he pleases and if I ask for money for something he says he's only giving me what the doctors needs and my meds. His family knows of the situation and they support him in it. They have given him money to get the car and he has dumped them with me because I left everything behind when I came here and I have nothing to go back to. I haven't been back for a visit to see family and friend s for 8 years. We never had the money.
He blamed me for our credit problems but he had more cards and much more credit than I did. I'm not saying I didn't buy things, I did. I might have even gone a wee bit overboard because I was so lonely and depressed I needed something to make me feel better but I didn't create the credit hell. It came with the economic hit happened, companies just started reducing credit to the point we'd end up paying overcharges when the APR hit and that made the APR go up it was a vicious circle. So now he says he's liberated and because I say I want a divorce lawyer he's saying I'm threatening him and he's not going to take that. Yeah, I know my marriage is over. It should have been a long time ago when I was violated and he wouldn't take responsibility and try to fix it. I swear none of this showed up the 3 years we were together. My problem now is I have no money and he's trying to give me nothing. Both him and his parents had to sign a financial responsibility form for Immigration for me to be here and it states they have to financially take care of me but I hate that thought. But I have nothing and I don't know how to find a divorce lawyer when I can't afford to pay them.
Please if anyone has gone through this or something similar, I could use some information. Is there some way to get a divorce lawyer I don't know about? As I said, I'm in Texas, Dallas to be exact and I am so in need of help. I have never been a helpless person but I'm lost here.
Thanks
Due to my health our sex life suffered and I couldn't sleep if I got 2 hours a night, I was doing good. I was put on Ambien to get the sleep that would help heal my body. It was great to sleep again, I was able to manage almost a 6 to 8 hours night sleep so when I started waking up with a start, I was baffled. My husband snores and has a habit of bouncing to turn over in bed I thought that was why I woke up but Ambien is a very powerful sleeping drug, I just got very bad feelings when I'd wake up like that and when I finally became aware of why I was waking with a start.. even now my stomach is sick speaking about it. I found out that my husband was having sex with me while I was knocked out on Ambien. The first time I realized it I woke up with him pulling the cover down behind be, I slept on my side facing away from him. I laid there shocked and my mind racing trying to piece the information together. I thought I had to have imagined it, it couldn't be real. A couple of nig hts later I woke up to find him inside me and pulling out fast trying to move away from me, I was so angry! I turned to him and told him if he ever did that again I would kill him. He said he didn't know what I was talking about. I felt disgust, betrayal, violated and then I realized I was raped by my own husband. I began getting a quilt and folding it over like a sleeping bag so I was closed off to him but I found I could no longer sleep even on the Ambien. The minute I started to fall asleep I'd jerk awake. Shortly after I moved into another bedroom and I've slept there for the last 5 years and 3 months. I haven't been able to stand his touch ever since.
I tried to talk to him about it but he just says I made it up, I dreamed it, I was drugged and didn't know what I was saying. A woman knows. She knows when something isn't right. I knew long before I knew for sure, there was just a sense of fear for no reason I could understand until I did understand. I've never talked about it with him again and I've never told anyone until right now. And now my husband wants a divorce because he says he's tired of me cringing from his touch.
I don't know how I let it go on for so long. It was like being asleep when I was awake. I don't know why I couldn't tell anyone.
He's angry at me for so many things. He says he's wasted his time and money on me. That I'm lazy and never attempted to get a job. We live in a place where there is no city transit of any kind and he has the only vehicle and I am prone to bad bouts with the fibro, neuropathy, the discs in my back. Sometimes my legs swell to at least three times their size, I don't think I could work if I wanted to and trust me I would like to just to get out and have some company and a place I could feel productive. So he has gotten a different bank account, claimed bankruptcy, bought a new car, comes and goes as he pleases and if I ask for money for something he says he's only giving me what the doctors needs and my meds. His family knows of the situation and they support him in it. They have given him money to get the car and he has dumped them with me because I left everything behind when I came here and I have nothing to go back to. I haven't been back for a visit to see family and friend s for 8 years. We never had the money.
He blamed me for our credit problems but he had more cards and much more credit than I did. I'm not saying I didn't buy things, I did. I might have even gone a wee bit overboard because I was so lonely and depressed I needed something to make me feel better but I didn't create the credit hell. It came with the economic hit happened, companies just started reducing credit to the point we'd end up paying overcharges when the APR hit and that made the APR go up it was a vicious circle. So now he says he's liberated and because I say I want a divorce lawyer he's saying I'm threatening him and he's not going to take that. Yeah, I know my marriage is over. It should have been a long time ago when I was violated and he wouldn't take responsibility and try to fix it. I swear none of this showed up the 3 years we were together. My problem now is I have no money and he's trying to give me nothing. Both him and his parents had to sign a financial responsibility form for Immigration for me to be here and it states they have to financially take care of me but I hate that thought. But I have nothing and I don't know how to find a divorce lawyer when I can't afford to pay them.
Please if anyone has gone through this or something similar, I could use some information. Is there some way to get a divorce lawyer I don't know about? As I said, I'm in Texas, Dallas to be exact and I am so in need of help. I have never been a helpless person but I'm lost here.
Thanks
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