*anonymous please*
Hello,
I would like some advice and input on my relationship. I always used to smirk a little at people who changed their facebook status to 'it's complicated' but I think that's the best way of describing my relationship with my boyfriend.
We have been a couple for 5 years and there have definitely been some rocky times. We've had lots of ups and downs including my mental health problems, my family's religious stance and some great personal losses on his part. All of these issues have been largely overcome which is great. We've supported each other and it's always been a very loving relationship built on a strong friendship. Almost 4 of the 5 years have been long distance where we would see each other every few weeks but speak everyday. Finally this year I've taken steps to move to the same area as him and the move will be finalised next month. I was so excited as were our families.
He's been incredibly distant and unaffectionate this last few months. We had a close friendship but there is nothing remotely physical and he shrugged off all of my advances. When I'd ask him if he loved he'd say he would but I knew something was up. Finally, in a argument I pushed him to tell me what was up. When I said it felt like he didn't love me in the same way anymore and that I was just his friend, he said that was probably fair. I was crushed. When I said I was hurt that he hadn't told me and that I felt that he was using me for my friendship, he apologised, said he'd want to stay friends but that we should break up. This was all over the phone. He then said no he didn't want to break up and he felt he could probably feel the same way again when we spent more time together.
He then went on to act as if nothing at happened in spite of my upset. We had a 'date' a week ago and he was extra nice and made a special effort but I feel like screaming. He says he feels that things are moving in the right direction and that the feelings are coming back and that he's sorry. In all of this I love him so much but I also hate him for treating me like this. I'm writing my dissertation and have a lot of family stresses at the moment so the timing is very insensitive.
I want to give things the best shot I can especially I'm moving geographically closer so soon. We also have a holiday booked together in a few weeks that's been booked for ages.
I want things to be like they were before but I don't want to be used.
Put the internet to work for you.
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