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Emotional Affair...what do I do

My wife of 9 years encouraged us to move to a different country for a different life. I was first to move and she followed six months later with the kids. I discovered that she had been exchanging sexy text messages with a former colleague of hers at work and even sent him a sexy picture of her(he keeps sending her messages about how her thighs and breasts looked good in this picture). I confronted her and she said it was nothing but an innocent flirt and that she was sorry about it and regretted that it had a negative impact on our relationship. After that I didn't trust her and kept monitoring her phone, which she put a password on and now holds more closely on her. I installed a mobile app on her phone. I found that she still kept the sexy talk with this former work-mate. I also found that she's also exchanging these flirty messages with her ex-boyfriend...even sending each other pornographic pictures and videos. I used to hold her in so much trust but now I don't. We still stay together and do all the things couples do but this is eating me so much. I feel like I can't tell her and I'm not sure what happened the period we were separate from each other.

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