My wife and I have been together for 10 years and married for 6. She is turning 30 and I am 35. A month ago she tried to tell me that she felt us growing apart and that she felt empty I side. I tried to talk to her about it, and it seemed like we got some connection. I knew we had been distant over the last two years but we were both pursuing our master's degree and working full time. I know that I was not the best husband in the world... I love my wife...I never cheated on her and never thought about leaving her, she is wonderful she would buy me cards and care for me. I felt more like a parent than partner the last couple of years, having to make sure the mortgage and other bills were paid, and caring for our dog...
A week after our original "talk" she told me she loves me but she is not in love with me and that I should let her go. We had a long talk and both cried. I told her that I accepted the fact that I was not the best husband, and how sorry I was. I explained that my priorities in life were not in order and after much thought our relationship ship was my priority. I told her I love her for who she is and I was sorry for not showing it. We decided to stay together but things have been difficult. I have been seeing a therapist twice a week for a month. He attributes my actions to my father and older brother who both did not respect their wives ( however I refuse to just use this as an excuse, I have taken full responsibility, and told her this)
Life has changed, my wife still talks to me and does things for me. I have changed internally and feel a much deeper love for my wife; however I know that she does not feel the same. She says there is a lot going on in herhead, she sees that I have changed and that I am happy, and she says that she just doesn't know... she wanted to see her own therapist. I promised her that I would wait...knowing that the hurt and confusion wasn't caused in a day and that it would take time for her to heal and forgive. It's been a month and I know I'm being impatient, but it's just so hard when. It try to kiss her, she just gives me her forehead, when I hug her it feels empty, and when I try to hold her in bed I can feel her being uncomfortable.
The bottom line is that she is also going through a mid life crisis of wanting a better career coupled with not knowing if she loves me anymore a has created the perfect storm.
Can she fall in love with me again ? Is there more I could say or do? How long does it take to recommit to trying to love your spouse again,?!?
-lost and confused husband.
A week after our original "talk" she told me she loves me but she is not in love with me and that I should let her go. We had a long talk and both cried. I told her that I accepted the fact that I was not the best husband, and how sorry I was. I explained that my priorities in life were not in order and after much thought our relationship ship was my priority. I told her I love her for who she is and I was sorry for not showing it. We decided to stay together but things have been difficult. I have been seeing a therapist twice a week for a month. He attributes my actions to my father and older brother who both did not respect their wives ( however I refuse to just use this as an excuse, I have taken full responsibility, and told her this)
Life has changed, my wife still talks to me and does things for me. I have changed internally and feel a much deeper love for my wife; however I know that she does not feel the same. She says there is a lot going on in herhead, she sees that I have changed and that I am happy, and she says that she just doesn't know... she wanted to see her own therapist. I promised her that I would wait...knowing that the hurt and confusion wasn't caused in a day and that it would take time for her to heal and forgive. It's been a month and I know I'm being impatient, but it's just so hard when. It try to kiss her, she just gives me her forehead, when I hug her it feels empty, and when I try to hold her in bed I can feel her being uncomfortable.
The bottom line is that she is also going through a mid life crisis of wanting a better career coupled with not knowing if she loves me anymore a has created the perfect storm.
Can she fall in love with me again ? Is there more I could say or do? How long does it take to recommit to trying to love your spouse again,?!?
-lost and confused husband.
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