I'm new here. I thought I would give this a try. I really dont have anyone to talk to. I dont want to tell my family that my husband and I cant get along because I dont want them to worry. We have a beautiful 8 1/2 month old daughter.
Anyways, here's us in a nutshell.....
We've been boyfriend and girlfriend for 16 years. We've lived together since forever. All of our years together we've had our ups and downs. We've been through hell and back. And actually....if its just us....we do get along sometimes. We like a lot of the same stuff. I got pregnant last year and then we got married just so I could have insurance.
My husband in a nutshell is and always has been a taurus the bullhead selfish person. He doesnt take my feelings into consideration. Anything and everything has to be written down for him because he doesnt listen to anything I say. Weather its something important or useless rambling. He also thinks he's better than everyone else.
Me...I've always been independent. But, I've turned into a controlling witch. I've always been easy going and go with the flow kind of person. I still am to a certain extent. I dont like being a controlling witch. I've turned into a crazy person. I'm kind of controlling when it comes to taking care of our daughter. Mainly because I'm the one taking care of her all the time during the day. I work part time in retail. 4 hours at night. 2-3 days a week and sometimes a 2-6 shift on Saturdays. So, when I need my husband to take over daddy duty he has to do it. Even on the weekends. But, when I do have weekends off and I need him to keep an eye on our daughter for even 10 or 15 minutes....my husband gives me some kind of excuse that he's busy. So, I end up putting either putting our daughter in her walker or her pack n play. Then i go and do what i gotta do. Or, on the weekends if I need to go out and run some errands for maybe an 1 hour or hour an half....I either cant do it becau se he needs to mow the lawn or work on his car...just some kind of excuse. So, sometimes i end up taking our daughter with me. I try to leave her at home with daddy when I
can because it's a big hassle putting her in and taking her out of the car seat a million times. Especially in the hot weather. He works full time and provides for us. And he has weekends off. The weekends is the only time he can get stuff done around the house. Which I can understand that he has crap to do. But, like i said...asking him for a favor is just a waste of breath because he can't do it. Everything is always about him.
We have a two story house. Our bedroom is upstairs and we have three spare rooms on the main level. One of those rooms is the baby's room. Another room is a guest room. And the other is our "catch all" room. I've been sleeping in the guest room for quite some time. Because even though I have the audio baby monitor and our daughter is a good sleeper. Occasionally she'll cry for her binky. So, it's just easier for me to get up and walk across to put her binky in her mouth. So, I haven't slept with my husband in our bedroom these past 8 months. I however plan on transitioning myself to our bedroom in the sometime near future. (pretty soon)
Basically, our personalities have spiraled down hill since we've became parents. My husband doesnt respect me anymore. He's always yelling at me with such profanity. Constantly cursing at me and calling me horrible names. Especially when i dont even curse at him in anger. But, sometimes he brings the curse words out of me. We can't communicate to each other in a civil manner. He's very disrespectful to me. I keep telling him that if he shows me some respect then I'll do the same. He always makes me feel like everything is my fault. Then i start to feel like crap or guilty or some kind of negative emotion. At that point i threaten him with divorce or maybe I'll go kill myself and he wont have to deal with me.
We also havent been intimate in 3 months. Mainly because I'm busy with the baby. And sometimes when she goes down for her nap....i take one too. I'm always tired. Just recently he wanted a quicky. But, i told him no because I was tired and it's to damn hot in our house. (we dont have AC). He got mad and read way to much into me saying no. He started bringing up negative emotions and turning it into an argument. (oh yea...that's another thing about him....he reads way to much into things. In a way....he's kind of a over thinker.) I havent really been in the mood to be intimate mainly because i'm always tired and i want to nap when our baby naps. again, it's my fault and I feel guilty for with holding sex from him. But, also again...he doesnt understand that im tired.
Anyways....i think i've vented enough. Some of you might sympathize with my husband and some of you might sympathize with me. Either way....its fine. Any advice would be appreciated. I just dont know how to deal with my husband anymore. Most of the time i feel like just running away or leaving him because i cant take the way he talks down to me.
Anyways, here's us in a nutshell.....
We've been boyfriend and girlfriend for 16 years. We've lived together since forever. All of our years together we've had our ups and downs. We've been through hell and back. And actually....if its just us....we do get along sometimes. We like a lot of the same stuff. I got pregnant last year and then we got married just so I could have insurance.
My husband in a nutshell is and always has been a taurus the bullhead selfish person. He doesnt take my feelings into consideration. Anything and everything has to be written down for him because he doesnt listen to anything I say. Weather its something important or useless rambling. He also thinks he's better than everyone else.
Me...I've always been independent. But, I've turned into a controlling witch. I've always been easy going and go with the flow kind of person. I still am to a certain extent. I dont like being a controlling witch. I've turned into a crazy person. I'm kind of controlling when it comes to taking care of our daughter. Mainly because I'm the one taking care of her all the time during the day. I work part time in retail. 4 hours at night. 2-3 days a week and sometimes a 2-6 shift on Saturdays. So, when I need my husband to take over daddy duty he has to do it. Even on the weekends. But, when I do have weekends off and I need him to keep an eye on our daughter for even 10 or 15 minutes....my husband gives me some kind of excuse that he's busy. So, I end up putting either putting our daughter in her walker or her pack n play. Then i go and do what i gotta do. Or, on the weekends if I need to go out and run some errands for maybe an 1 hour or hour an half....I either cant do it becau se he needs to mow the lawn or work on his car...just some kind of excuse. So, sometimes i end up taking our daughter with me. I try to leave her at home with daddy when I
can because it's a big hassle putting her in and taking her out of the car seat a million times. Especially in the hot weather. He works full time and provides for us. And he has weekends off. The weekends is the only time he can get stuff done around the house. Which I can understand that he has crap to do. But, like i said...asking him for a favor is just a waste of breath because he can't do it. Everything is always about him.
We have a two story house. Our bedroom is upstairs and we have three spare rooms on the main level. One of those rooms is the baby's room. Another room is a guest room. And the other is our "catch all" room. I've been sleeping in the guest room for quite some time. Because even though I have the audio baby monitor and our daughter is a good sleeper. Occasionally she'll cry for her binky. So, it's just easier for me to get up and walk across to put her binky in her mouth. So, I haven't slept with my husband in our bedroom these past 8 months. I however plan on transitioning myself to our bedroom in the sometime near future. (pretty soon)
Basically, our personalities have spiraled down hill since we've became parents. My husband doesnt respect me anymore. He's always yelling at me with such profanity. Constantly cursing at me and calling me horrible names. Especially when i dont even curse at him in anger. But, sometimes he brings the curse words out of me. We can't communicate to each other in a civil manner. He's very disrespectful to me. I keep telling him that if he shows me some respect then I'll do the same. He always makes me feel like everything is my fault. Then i start to feel like crap or guilty or some kind of negative emotion. At that point i threaten him with divorce or maybe I'll go kill myself and he wont have to deal with me.
We also havent been intimate in 3 months. Mainly because I'm busy with the baby. And sometimes when she goes down for her nap....i take one too. I'm always tired. Just recently he wanted a quicky. But, i told him no because I was tired and it's to damn hot in our house. (we dont have AC). He got mad and read way to much into me saying no. He started bringing up negative emotions and turning it into an argument. (oh yea...that's another thing about him....he reads way to much into things. In a way....he's kind of a over thinker.) I havent really been in the mood to be intimate mainly because i'm always tired and i want to nap when our baby naps. again, it's my fault and I feel guilty for with holding sex from him. But, also again...he doesnt understand that im tired.
Anyways....i think i've vented enough. Some of you might sympathize with my husband and some of you might sympathize with me. Either way....its fine. Any advice would be appreciated. I just dont know how to deal with my husband anymore. Most of the time i feel like just running away or leaving him because i cant take the way he talks down to me.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment