I met my best friend roughly three years ago, at the beginning of our time at University. We hit it off quite quickly, and by the end of our first year we were self-confessed "best friends".
However, for a while (I think, perhaps, even all of it), I've felt that she doesn't really care about me as much as I do about her. Throughout our time at University, it has seemed to me that I was the one keeping up our friendship, and even then, she was often "too busy" to make time for me.
Her priorities are very much work and her boyfriend, whoever it happens to be. Indeed, throughout the time I've known her, she's had three different boyfriends (with slight overlaps so that she has never been single), and every time she will throw me under the bus for him. She practically cuts me out in order to spend every work-free minute with him and his friends, and sometimes I feel that if I didn't remind her that I exist every now and again, that she'd completely forget about me. On one occasion, she asked me for my opinion about her current boyfriend (I said that I got a bad vibe from him), and she just went and laughed about it with him behind my back (ironically, she broke up with him shortly afterwards because she thought he was "using" her). The fact that she always needs to have a boyfriend to be "complete", and that whenever the next one comes along, our long-term friendship seems to mean little to her, has made me lose respect for her: as a woman, a feminist, an d most importantly, a friend.
She says that she loves me and that we're best friends, but as they say "actions speak louder than words", and I don't really feel it from her.
Anyway, our three years together at University are up, and she and I will be living in different cities next year. We've told each other that we'll keep in touch, and that our best-friendship is forever - and that's what I want, but I'm not sure if she really means it.
So, what do I do? It's nice to have someone who at least claims that they consider you a best friend, and that they love you, but it's not so nice to spend the whole time doubting it. My intention was to put in a little less effort next year, and see if she comes to me for once (as a sort of test of her sincerity), but I don't know if I'll be able to manage it.
Put the internet to work for you.
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