This could turn quite lengthy, so I'll try to keep it brief.
My (now) ex broke up with me about 3 months ago as he was moving away to go to uni, and didn't think that he would be able to balance the work load and my emotional needs (we lived together at this time and essentially would be taking a step backwards). He basically admitted that he still found me attractive, and loved hanging out with me, and couldn't bear to not have me in his life, but was convinced it wasn't going to work in the long run (he even mentioned he had fantasies that after his degree we would somehow be able to make things work again).
I was completely taken aback by this and absolutely devastated. Even though he said he wanted to be friends, I cut off contact for a month or so to try and get some perspective and peace in my own head.
We met up again as friends for the first time a few weeks ago, and ended up in bed. I took this with a pinch of salt and just assumed it was a "one for the road" kind of deal and didn't talk to him about it. BUT, the next weekend we ended up meeting at a gig and hooking up AGAIN, and this time he asked me out to the cinema the next day. I agreed and we ended up holding hands and touching and going for dinner as well.
Needless to say, I'm now extremely confused. After the second time, I mentioned that I didn't really understand what was happening, and after a while he said that he didn't either. I said that was OK, but wish I had said more now.
I don't want to ask outright and make a big deal of it, because frankly I'm quite happy for things to continue in this manner: I know I'm not ready to start seeing anyone else at the moment.
What I'd really like is an outsiders perspective/insights into what's going on in his head? Sorry for the essay :$
My (now) ex broke up with me about 3 months ago as he was moving away to go to uni, and didn't think that he would be able to balance the work load and my emotional needs (we lived together at this time and essentially would be taking a step backwards). He basically admitted that he still found me attractive, and loved hanging out with me, and couldn't bear to not have me in his life, but was convinced it wasn't going to work in the long run (he even mentioned he had fantasies that after his degree we would somehow be able to make things work again).
I was completely taken aback by this and absolutely devastated. Even though he said he wanted to be friends, I cut off contact for a month or so to try and get some perspective and peace in my own head.
We met up again as friends for the first time a few weeks ago, and ended up in bed. I took this with a pinch of salt and just assumed it was a "one for the road" kind of deal and didn't talk to him about it. BUT, the next weekend we ended up meeting at a gig and hooking up AGAIN, and this time he asked me out to the cinema the next day. I agreed and we ended up holding hands and touching and going for dinner as well.
Needless to say, I'm now extremely confused. After the second time, I mentioned that I didn't really understand what was happening, and after a while he said that he didn't either. I said that was OK, but wish I had said more now.
I don't want to ask outright and make a big deal of it, because frankly I'm quite happy for things to continue in this manner: I know I'm not ready to start seeing anyone else at the moment.
What I'd really like is an outsiders perspective/insights into what's going on in his head? Sorry for the essay :$
Put the internet to work for you.
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