Hey guys so i've pretty much dug myself into a hole with a really extremely complicated relationship, fact of the matter is, it was a 4 year relationship, lot's of on and offs (for extremely short periods though max. like a week or two), we've both done things with other people during our time together, the relationship started at 16 and we're both 20 now. We spent a year living on two different sides of the world midway through our relationship due to him going to university, just this year i've moved to uni and we were going to make it work, but recently found out he'd done so many things with other people during that time and he lied about it, the guilt made him get heavily into weed. There were reasons behind his cheating, as there always has been on both sides. I've given him about one to many chances now and until, I moved to uni I never really doubted myself wanting to have a future with him. Kind of realised since moving to uni, how big of a decis ion it is to make a commitment like that and for the sake of me and my future relationships I was starting to think, it may just be better to get the single life out of me before settling down instead of waiting and ending up with messier relationships in the future.
Basically by cheating I mean, he's slept with someone else, psychologically this has really messed with my head, as and when he told me I said you know what, how is it possible with the past of other cheating and lying that I can or ever will not find myself questioning every single thing he tells me, is this a lie or is that a lie?
I'm a bit bummed because he sincerely feels like in all this crap he did he realised that he wasn't with me for just sex, which he felt like he possibly was, and now he feels like from what he's done he's realised he 'loves' me. Bull**** or not? I will never know.
He is a master bull****ter, but that day when I decided to walk away, i'd never in my life seen him in such a state, which I somewhat have no sympathy for because I feel like he created this horrible situation we have.
The worst part is my head knows that what i'm doing is completely right but my heart has like properly bonded to him, in a way i've never bonded with anyone. This is making me extremely depressed and there really isn't anyone in terms of friends I can go out with and socialise to take my mind off/ even tell them what's going on. I feel extremely alone, I know what I have done is right, but how do I let go of those feelings? How do I move on?
It's only been just over a week btw, but it's crucial I get through this and make the right decisions...someone please help?
Basically by cheating I mean, he's slept with someone else, psychologically this has really messed with my head, as and when he told me I said you know what, how is it possible with the past of other cheating and lying that I can or ever will not find myself questioning every single thing he tells me, is this a lie or is that a lie?
I'm a bit bummed because he sincerely feels like in all this crap he did he realised that he wasn't with me for just sex, which he felt like he possibly was, and now he feels like from what he's done he's realised he 'loves' me. Bull**** or not? I will never know.
He is a master bull****ter, but that day when I decided to walk away, i'd never in my life seen him in such a state, which I somewhat have no sympathy for because I feel like he created this horrible situation we have.
The worst part is my head knows that what i'm doing is completely right but my heart has like properly bonded to him, in a way i've never bonded with anyone. This is making me extremely depressed and there really isn't anyone in terms of friends I can go out with and socialise to take my mind off/ even tell them what's going on. I feel extremely alone, I know what I have done is right, but how do I let go of those feelings? How do I move on?
It's only been just over a week btw, but it's crucial I get through this and make the right decisions...someone please help?
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