Hello. I've been reading this forum for a while but this is my first post. Here's my story.
I found out that my husband was having an affair 7 weeks ago after I noticed on our phone bill that he had been exchanging 2,000 text messages per month with a number I didn't know. So I waited for him to get home and fall asleep and I went through his phone, wallet, car, bag, pockets. I found out who she was and I read all of their messages that were still there: many messages were missing in the middle of a day's worth of texts and I found one from her that said only "delete that". I didn't find anything sexual but I just assumed that the relationship was.
That same night I jumped the gun and confronted him. I woke him up in the middle of the night after just steaming for hours and I told him (loudly haha) that I had read all of his text messages including the ones he deleted, I had seen all of the picture messages he had been sending and I knew everything. Of course I didn't know what kinds of pictures they had exchanged except a couple of really normal ones of things and one of her dressed in some kind of fugly hobo costume that I found and I hadn't read the ones he deleted but he doesn't know anything about technology and I do. So I proceeded like I knew everything and I was going to give him one chance to tell me the truth about each question I asked, hoping that he believed I already knew the answer. He says that there was no sexual contact, only talking and one incident of an inappropriately intimate hug (like too long, emotional) on the last occasion they saw each other before she went to another state for work for 6 mon ths.
So here's the timeline as I can figure:
June 24-July 25 They meet in a class and do a big final project together
July- Text messages increase but I can't see to whom they are sent anymore (records are kept for 90 days)
August- She leaves the state
September 20- D-Day
I have been conducting routine searches of our apartment/his car looking for a second cell phone/SIM card, any paper communications, I have a keylogger on our computers, I pulled his credit report looking for secret credit cards and I regularly monitor the usage data on our cell phone account and check his phone every few nights. I haven't found any suggestion of any no contact agreement violations and he swears that he hasn't had any communication with her since he ended it (under my supervision). I continue to look for evidence of a sexual relationship but I fear it's too late to ever prove that on my own. I have asked him many times and in many ways if the relationship was physical and his story hasn't changed but it's been clearly established that he's a liar so this isn't enough for me to believe it was emotional only. I asked him if he would take a polygraph test to prove that he's telling the truth and he agreed without flinching.
Some background:
We are both 26 and have been married for 5 years. We got married young while he was in the military. We're both students, no kids, no property.
What do you guys think? Does it sound like he's on the up and up or do you see anything fishy? What else would you do to find the truth?
I found out that my husband was having an affair 7 weeks ago after I noticed on our phone bill that he had been exchanging 2,000 text messages per month with a number I didn't know. So I waited for him to get home and fall asleep and I went through his phone, wallet, car, bag, pockets. I found out who she was and I read all of their messages that were still there: many messages were missing in the middle of a day's worth of texts and I found one from her that said only "delete that". I didn't find anything sexual but I just assumed that the relationship was.
That same night I jumped the gun and confronted him. I woke him up in the middle of the night after just steaming for hours and I told him (loudly haha) that I had read all of his text messages including the ones he deleted, I had seen all of the picture messages he had been sending and I knew everything. Of course I didn't know what kinds of pictures they had exchanged except a couple of really normal ones of things and one of her dressed in some kind of fugly hobo costume that I found and I hadn't read the ones he deleted but he doesn't know anything about technology and I do. So I proceeded like I knew everything and I was going to give him one chance to tell me the truth about each question I asked, hoping that he believed I already knew the answer. He says that there was no sexual contact, only talking and one incident of an inappropriately intimate hug (like too long, emotional) on the last occasion they saw each other before she went to another state for work for 6 mon ths.
So here's the timeline as I can figure:
June 24-July 25 They meet in a class and do a big final project together
July- Text messages increase but I can't see to whom they are sent anymore (records are kept for 90 days)
August- She leaves the state
September 20- D-Day
I have been conducting routine searches of our apartment/his car looking for a second cell phone/SIM card, any paper communications, I have a keylogger on our computers, I pulled his credit report looking for secret credit cards and I regularly monitor the usage data on our cell phone account and check his phone every few nights. I haven't found any suggestion of any no contact agreement violations and he swears that he hasn't had any communication with her since he ended it (under my supervision). I continue to look for evidence of a sexual relationship but I fear it's too late to ever prove that on my own. I have asked him many times and in many ways if the relationship was physical and his story hasn't changed but it's been clearly established that he's a liar so this isn't enough for me to believe it was emotional only. I asked him if he would take a polygraph test to prove that he's telling the truth and he agreed without flinching.
Some background:
We are both 26 and have been married for 5 years. We got married young while he was in the military. We're both students, no kids, no property.
What do you guys think? Does it sound like he's on the up and up or do you see anything fishy? What else would you do to find the truth?
Put the internet to work for you.
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