So, throughout the end of my marriage and my divorce, this whole group was very supportive and insightful. When I had concern about a new man that I was being set up with after a year and a half separated from my husband, you were all very encouraging and comforting. (seeing as how i was all sorts of worried about our age difference)
But, there is one thing that still kind of bothers me, that i wanted to point out.
A couple months ago, my man and I were in some rough territory. I mean, in all honesty, the transition of living together was just rocky as all hell. Much more than I had expected seeing as how my ex husband and I started living together after dating only 2 weeks. There were a lot of differences in the situations. One being that my boyfriend has a son, is older and more set in his ways, and two being that neither of us had gone through this experience in quite some time, so relearning someone elses habits was very difficult. Everything was.
For a while I was really at my witts end. I can't lie. I wasn't sure at one point if most of the "problems" were all mine to own, or if they were really actual issues.
Well, I finally sat myself down and looked at everything, and a lot of the "problems" were my own issues, my own insecurities, and left overs from my previous relationship and the things i had dealt with.
I'm not really sure what happened past that point. But I am glad I stuck around. I stuck around, the two of us got our crap together, and now I'm so damn happy I can't stand it.
It was a lot of work, but it proved to be worth it. There is a level of comfort, trust, companionship, and understanding that I never figured I'd get again. And while I wont get into where all the issues came from, The thing I wanted to point out was that when I vented all my angry rage frustrations on here..looking for insight into "why" I was told to abandon ship.
And I get it, there were red flags. Well, the red flags have receded. the actions I was having such a hard time with, ceased. I just hate to think what I would be missing right now if I had jumped ship.
So I wanted to point that out. Because while I got plenty of advice to leave, and sarcasm and mildly insulted..Perhaps as a marriage forum, we should also try advising in the other direction.
A lot of it was misunderstanding, misinterpreting, and frustration on both of our parts. Once we worked those things out, everything else just fell into place. I'm sure that if he had posted up his frustrations with me, jump ship would have been the same advice he got. I really just feel that that attitude isn't always the right one.
But, there is one thing that still kind of bothers me, that i wanted to point out.
A couple months ago, my man and I were in some rough territory. I mean, in all honesty, the transition of living together was just rocky as all hell. Much more than I had expected seeing as how my ex husband and I started living together after dating only 2 weeks. There were a lot of differences in the situations. One being that my boyfriend has a son, is older and more set in his ways, and two being that neither of us had gone through this experience in quite some time, so relearning someone elses habits was very difficult. Everything was.
For a while I was really at my witts end. I can't lie. I wasn't sure at one point if most of the "problems" were all mine to own, or if they were really actual issues.
Well, I finally sat myself down and looked at everything, and a lot of the "problems" were my own issues, my own insecurities, and left overs from my previous relationship and the things i had dealt with.
I'm not really sure what happened past that point. But I am glad I stuck around. I stuck around, the two of us got our crap together, and now I'm so damn happy I can't stand it.
It was a lot of work, but it proved to be worth it. There is a level of comfort, trust, companionship, and understanding that I never figured I'd get again. And while I wont get into where all the issues came from, The thing I wanted to point out was that when I vented all my angry rage frustrations on here..looking for insight into "why" I was told to abandon ship.
And I get it, there were red flags. Well, the red flags have receded. the actions I was having such a hard time with, ceased. I just hate to think what I would be missing right now if I had jumped ship.
So I wanted to point that out. Because while I got plenty of advice to leave, and sarcasm and mildly insulted..Perhaps as a marriage forum, we should also try advising in the other direction.
A lot of it was misunderstanding, misinterpreting, and frustration on both of our parts. Once we worked those things out, everything else just fell into place. I'm sure that if he had posted up his frustrations with me, jump ship would have been the same advice he got. I really just feel that that attitude isn't always the right one.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment