My wife walked out two weeks ago. I wouldn't be surprised if she's bipolar or something. She's also very very self centred and thinks she can pretty much just use me.
What happened was she wanted me to do a favor for her and I said no because she'd been such a jerk the night before. And so she said she's moving out, packed a bag and left. I figure it's an attempt to try and make me feel guilty and to 'punish' me ('he'll be sorry for this').
A few days go by and she says nothing, and for the first time in all the years we've been married, this time I don't go after her and make everything better. She's done the whole "I'm leaving" thing many times before, each time it gets bigger like she's been trying it on for size. I've always gone after her in the past. This time I've not, first time in 10 years.
So then a few days later she messaged me hostile blaming messages to tell me how it's all my fault. I notice that all the hostile things she says she herself is doing; ie you're such a victim, you're so mean and so on. I just return it back but she can dish it, but not take it. Then I don't bother anymore after a few days of this because it goes no where. Nothing she says makes sense.
A few days later she messages that she wants to talk. I respond that I'm willing to message for a bit. The blaming starts up again and I tell her I'm going.. she says wait. I say that I require to go forward we will meet with a MC again. She agrees and acts like she's surprised I'm willing to, which is BS because I've been saying for months it's necessary. So we agree to go for more MC and don't talk for a few more days.
Then a few more days go by and she messages about wanting her stuff. I ignore it and suddenly I get more and more messages and she starts phoning for the first time. She has almost nothing to say to me for weeks, but big suprise when she needs/wants something she's desperate to communicate with me suddenly. I've just ignored it because no better response comes to mind right now. It's so dumb... because she could have just come home at any point but she hasn't.
Now I know she's already made plans to be with her family for christmas. And I'm trying to make mine to travel to be with family over the holidays.
I'm worried that while I'm gone she might get movers and try to clear out the house.
Should I change front door lock? If I change the lock could she just call a locksmith to open it?
And if she asks to or tries to come back, she's most likely going to try to avoid being responsible for any of the damage she's caused. She'll call it a 'misunderstanding' and have absolutely no remorse. I can't just let her renter the home and continue on acting like everything is back to normal.
Other than the MC, what should I do? Require her to stay separated (ie. you chose this now stick with it). Allow her home but have separate rooms?
Any thoughts or suggestions?
What happened was she wanted me to do a favor for her and I said no because she'd been such a jerk the night before. And so she said she's moving out, packed a bag and left. I figure it's an attempt to try and make me feel guilty and to 'punish' me ('he'll be sorry for this').
A few days go by and she says nothing, and for the first time in all the years we've been married, this time I don't go after her and make everything better. She's done the whole "I'm leaving" thing many times before, each time it gets bigger like she's been trying it on for size. I've always gone after her in the past. This time I've not, first time in 10 years.
So then a few days later she messaged me hostile blaming messages to tell me how it's all my fault. I notice that all the hostile things she says she herself is doing; ie you're such a victim, you're so mean and so on. I just return it back but she can dish it, but not take it. Then I don't bother anymore after a few days of this because it goes no where. Nothing she says makes sense.
A few days later she messages that she wants to talk. I respond that I'm willing to message for a bit. The blaming starts up again and I tell her I'm going.. she says wait. I say that I require to go forward we will meet with a MC again. She agrees and acts like she's surprised I'm willing to, which is BS because I've been saying for months it's necessary. So we agree to go for more MC and don't talk for a few more days.
Then a few more days go by and she messages about wanting her stuff. I ignore it and suddenly I get more and more messages and she starts phoning for the first time. She has almost nothing to say to me for weeks, but big suprise when she needs/wants something she's desperate to communicate with me suddenly. I've just ignored it because no better response comes to mind right now. It's so dumb... because she could have just come home at any point but she hasn't.
Now I know she's already made plans to be with her family for christmas. And I'm trying to make mine to travel to be with family over the holidays.
I'm worried that while I'm gone she might get movers and try to clear out the house.
Should I change front door lock? If I change the lock could she just call a locksmith to open it?
And if she asks to or tries to come back, she's most likely going to try to avoid being responsible for any of the damage she's caused. She'll call it a 'misunderstanding' and have absolutely no remorse. I can't just let her renter the home and continue on acting like everything is back to normal.
Other than the MC, what should I do? Require her to stay separated (ie. you chose this now stick with it). Allow her home but have separate rooms?
Any thoughts or suggestions?
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