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mediation

I went to mediation yesterday and have been crying ever since. How do you deal with your child going with someone who hasn't taken care of a child without being supervised and taking the word from someone who has done so much lying. How do you deal with putting a 16 month old in this position? How does a mediator tell someone to leave their emotions out of it when you have been so hurt by someone else and were left to take care of your child by yourself for 6 months. Also knowing that the B**** that helped break up your marriage will be taking care of your child. I have such high anxiety about this situation and my STBXH starts picking my son up tomorrow.
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