Hello all!!
I am so broken right now and confused right now:confused:
My husband and I have been together for 4 years and married 2 1/2 of the 4 years.
He is so terrible with money and i just cannot take it anymore. I don't want to get a divorce because i do love him but he is so irresponsible with money that i have built up so much resentment towards him.
my husband is in real estate so it's kind of off and on for him. however, he has jobs on the side that brings him in extra cash. now, what he does with this money, i have no idea because it does not come my way at all.
we have received so many eviction notices that i can't even count anymore. He only takes on the responsibility of paying the rent and will not pay for anything else. All the other expenses fall on me. that leaves me living pay check to pay check.
i had a second job when we first started dating and this job was paying me more for working part-time than my day job. My part-time was just too stressful. After a year of marriage he told me that i could let go of my second job and that he would chip in more so that i don't feel the raft of missing that second income. Well, i have yet to see this happen. i'm always robbing peter to pay paul and i have taken out numererous loans just to keep afloat. Now this man brings in thousands of dollars and will not offer me any help at all. I know this sounds unrealistic but it's the truth. he may help out on occasions but that's it. But let me clear up occasions. he paid my cell phone bill once and he paid my car note all of maybe 5 times in total. He bought me a nice pocket book, a pair of sneakers and a nice coat.
i am thankful for all of those things but that's what he calls helping out. What about gas & electric, water, cable, food, clothes ect. I have a teenage daughter who needs things but i cannot provide for her like i want to because every time i get paid, all of my money goes on bills.
He always trusting people to take his money and invest in things but he always ends up losing. i tell him time and time again that he needs to take care of home first and whatever is left, then you do what you want. Somehow he just cannot grasp that concept. how i know this is because we are facing eviction again!!!
i have complained and complained to him that i need help and but to no avail. he feels that him paying the rent only should cut it. He has two cars which i did not agree with at all but my words mean nothing. he went to gamble one time and he won $9,000 and he gave me $1,000 of it and told me, " now don't say that i have never done anything for you!!". and i believe that he would not have given me that if i had not seen it.
i have been trying to find another part-time job but i feel as though if i get another job to pay all of these bills, then i don't need him there. When we got married he didn't have much and i will admitt, i held down everything. but i was able to do that because i was doing really well with both jobs. i mean i was able to a lot in addition to me paying all of the bills. but somehow, he got lost in space when he started making all of the money. He still felt as though i could handle things on my own. But even if i was able to handle things on my own, the husband is still suppose to provide right?
i don't trrust him at all when it comes to money and i was trying to figure out a way of telling him this without him taking offense. He is a very sensitive man and cannot handle the truth at all!!!
The other night he told me that he was getting a two family house so that we could rent it out. Now the line of business that he's in, he will get money off of the house because he's the seller. He wants to put the house in my name but i had some reservations about this. 1. i didn't even know about this plan until my credit alert let me know that i had an inquiry. 2. because i feel like he's making a hasy decision to get money fast because of the holidays. 3. which should be # 1, he will blow all of the money and then i'm left with this house in my name that i cannot afford.
Well, i finally mustered up the strength to tell him how i felt, and believe me, i approached this with so much care and caution. but it didn't help at all. he blew up at me like a wild cat!!! he was so offended that we are so distant that anyone can feel it. i tried talking to him to make him feel better, i'm trying to appease him in every way possible but it's not working and i've had enough!!!
i am the one who should be so distant right now. he keeps leaving my daughter and i out there for dead but yet i'm the one who's left feeling guilty because i had to tell him the truth about himself. i am so exhausted from years of this in addition to his infidelities.
Am I wrong for feeling this way!! I think i want out. i can do bad by myself.
I am so broken right now and confused right now:confused:
My husband and I have been together for 4 years and married 2 1/2 of the 4 years.
He is so terrible with money and i just cannot take it anymore. I don't want to get a divorce because i do love him but he is so irresponsible with money that i have built up so much resentment towards him.
my husband is in real estate so it's kind of off and on for him. however, he has jobs on the side that brings him in extra cash. now, what he does with this money, i have no idea because it does not come my way at all.
we have received so many eviction notices that i can't even count anymore. He only takes on the responsibility of paying the rent and will not pay for anything else. All the other expenses fall on me. that leaves me living pay check to pay check.
i had a second job when we first started dating and this job was paying me more for working part-time than my day job. My part-time was just too stressful. After a year of marriage he told me that i could let go of my second job and that he would chip in more so that i don't feel the raft of missing that second income. Well, i have yet to see this happen. i'm always robbing peter to pay paul and i have taken out numererous loans just to keep afloat. Now this man brings in thousands of dollars and will not offer me any help at all. I know this sounds unrealistic but it's the truth. he may help out on occasions but that's it. But let me clear up occasions. he paid my cell phone bill once and he paid my car note all of maybe 5 times in total. He bought me a nice pocket book, a pair of sneakers and a nice coat.
i am thankful for all of those things but that's what he calls helping out. What about gas & electric, water, cable, food, clothes ect. I have a teenage daughter who needs things but i cannot provide for her like i want to because every time i get paid, all of my money goes on bills.
He always trusting people to take his money and invest in things but he always ends up losing. i tell him time and time again that he needs to take care of home first and whatever is left, then you do what you want. Somehow he just cannot grasp that concept. how i know this is because we are facing eviction again!!!
i have complained and complained to him that i need help and but to no avail. he feels that him paying the rent only should cut it. He has two cars which i did not agree with at all but my words mean nothing. he went to gamble one time and he won $9,000 and he gave me $1,000 of it and told me, " now don't say that i have never done anything for you!!". and i believe that he would not have given me that if i had not seen it.
i have been trying to find another part-time job but i feel as though if i get another job to pay all of these bills, then i don't need him there. When we got married he didn't have much and i will admitt, i held down everything. but i was able to do that because i was doing really well with both jobs. i mean i was able to a lot in addition to me paying all of the bills. but somehow, he got lost in space when he started making all of the money. He still felt as though i could handle things on my own. But even if i was able to handle things on my own, the husband is still suppose to provide right?
i don't trrust him at all when it comes to money and i was trying to figure out a way of telling him this without him taking offense. He is a very sensitive man and cannot handle the truth at all!!!
The other night he told me that he was getting a two family house so that we could rent it out. Now the line of business that he's in, he will get money off of the house because he's the seller. He wants to put the house in my name but i had some reservations about this. 1. i didn't even know about this plan until my credit alert let me know that i had an inquiry. 2. because i feel like he's making a hasy decision to get money fast because of the holidays. 3. which should be # 1, he will blow all of the money and then i'm left with this house in my name that i cannot afford.
Well, i finally mustered up the strength to tell him how i felt, and believe me, i approached this with so much care and caution. but it didn't help at all. he blew up at me like a wild cat!!! he was so offended that we are so distant that anyone can feel it. i tried talking to him to make him feel better, i'm trying to appease him in every way possible but it's not working and i've had enough!!!
i am the one who should be so distant right now. he keeps leaving my daughter and i out there for dead but yet i'm the one who's left feeling guilty because i had to tell him the truth about himself. i am so exhausted from years of this in addition to his infidelities.
Am I wrong for feeling this way!! I think i want out. i can do bad by myself.
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