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vaginismus ruining my life and relationships

Ive been loosely seeing this guy and we just cant have sex. On the few occasions weve tried my vagina just refuses entry! It actually feels like there is a massive barrier there (and i know this is the worse thing to do) but we even tried to force it in but it literally could not even enter me at all!

Weve done everything else- he can give me oral and finger me and its fine, but for some reason its not letting us do the deed.

Its ruining my life, because I really desperately want to have sex- im horny and wet and want it. Then it goes wrong :(

I have been to the doctors and Im on a 1 year waiting list to see a sex therapist.

Im 21 and i really need to have sex, fed up being a virgin, im horny, im with someone comfortably and its just really getting me down. I cry all the time about it :(

Any advice to help me relax the muscles down there?

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