For those of you moderately familiar with the ending of my two month marriage. I have suspected infidelity all along but she continuously denied it. She is severely alcoholic and she lies about certain things. She has been totally detached since the wedding.
Before me she dated the local celebrity drunk - the guy everybody loved to be around and he gets blind drunk every day. She struggled to get over him because he cheated on her - twice. Unfortunately, she drinks very heavily as well and she always goes to the places he hangs out - 30 minutes away. Yes, she drives drunk. Anyway, initially when we got together she stayed away from him - she was hurt - and that bar. Then she slowly lost the anger and she started going over there more - that was the end of her last dry period.
She had gotten more and more distant the last two-three months and she exhibited VERY closely the same characteristics when my ex-wife was cheating; cold, not interested in sex, mean-spirited, wanting to start fights, always on her smart phone, always finding a reason to go drink, etc. During our "talk" to split up, she was saying the usual, "you deserve someone better than me. We just don't fit. We're just not compatible. Our timing was just wrong. I have no ill will. I don't want to have any bad blood." Then there's this:
- I was warned by one of this other guy's best friends before the wedding to NOT marry her and that if she is not already cheating with him, she will, because he will never give up that conquest.
- Tonite, I was told by this man's ex-girlfriend that he was caught texting pictures of the two of them from when they were dating. this was right before the wedding. He said she asked for them, which is probably not true, but she obviously left the door open.
- I caught them several times in this bar whispering together and then quickly separating when I came in.
- the two of them left that bar together three weeks ago, apparently. After having been sitting very closely and whispering, he walked out alone and she walked out a minute or so later with no words. Everyone at the table was suspicious enough to check the parking lot. His car was there, hers was not. I was told this last week by someone else.
- I have confirmed that she lied to me twice about where she was last weekend while I was in Chicago.
- They have been "off the grid" from the usual haunts the last week or so at the same times - they are ALWAYS in that bar.
- Lastly, when we broke up early after our first dating, it was because I thought their interaction was too close and I told her to call me when she was done. I was told she showed up with him at the bar the very next day.
And what's crazy is that as I am sitting here I am still doubting myself. Did this guy's ex-girlfriend have an ulterior motive? Did the other girl who told me that as well? Could it be that she didn't lie on Sunday when we decided to split up and asked her if there was anything going on? I can't even believe I am still doubting this. She'll probably even turn it around on me as she does, she will deny it all and say that I am being crazy. Just wow.
Probably the truth is something deceitful. Maybe they weren't physically fooling around. Maybe in her mind she didn't lie that way "I didn't cheat on you" works. I know this, she will have herself convinced that if anything did happen, it was my fault because our marriage was so bad. I know it shouldn't matter, but right now tonite a totally unsolicited phone call from this guy's ex-girlfriend who I have never talked to at length before makes me think it is probably true.
Before me she dated the local celebrity drunk - the guy everybody loved to be around and he gets blind drunk every day. She struggled to get over him because he cheated on her - twice. Unfortunately, she drinks very heavily as well and she always goes to the places he hangs out - 30 minutes away. Yes, she drives drunk. Anyway, initially when we got together she stayed away from him - she was hurt - and that bar. Then she slowly lost the anger and she started going over there more - that was the end of her last dry period.
She had gotten more and more distant the last two-three months and she exhibited VERY closely the same characteristics when my ex-wife was cheating; cold, not interested in sex, mean-spirited, wanting to start fights, always on her smart phone, always finding a reason to go drink, etc. During our "talk" to split up, she was saying the usual, "you deserve someone better than me. We just don't fit. We're just not compatible. Our timing was just wrong. I have no ill will. I don't want to have any bad blood." Then there's this:
- I was warned by one of this other guy's best friends before the wedding to NOT marry her and that if she is not already cheating with him, she will, because he will never give up that conquest.
- Tonite, I was told by this man's ex-girlfriend that he was caught texting pictures of the two of them from when they were dating. this was right before the wedding. He said she asked for them, which is probably not true, but she obviously left the door open.
- I caught them several times in this bar whispering together and then quickly separating when I came in.
- the two of them left that bar together three weeks ago, apparently. After having been sitting very closely and whispering, he walked out alone and she walked out a minute or so later with no words. Everyone at the table was suspicious enough to check the parking lot. His car was there, hers was not. I was told this last week by someone else.
- I have confirmed that she lied to me twice about where she was last weekend while I was in Chicago.
- They have been "off the grid" from the usual haunts the last week or so at the same times - they are ALWAYS in that bar.
- Lastly, when we broke up early after our first dating, it was because I thought their interaction was too close and I told her to call me when she was done. I was told she showed up with him at the bar the very next day.
And what's crazy is that as I am sitting here I am still doubting myself. Did this guy's ex-girlfriend have an ulterior motive? Did the other girl who told me that as well? Could it be that she didn't lie on Sunday when we decided to split up and asked her if there was anything going on? I can't even believe I am still doubting this. She'll probably even turn it around on me as she does, she will deny it all and say that I am being crazy. Just wow.
Probably the truth is something deceitful. Maybe they weren't physically fooling around. Maybe in her mind she didn't lie that way "I didn't cheat on you" works. I know this, she will have herself convinced that if anything did happen, it was my fault because our marriage was so bad. I know it shouldn't matter, but right now tonite a totally unsolicited phone call from this guy's ex-girlfriend who I have never talked to at length before makes me think it is probably true.
Put the internet to work for you.
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