Hi there everyone,
I'm new to this site and I'm hoping for some replies/advice/support... I've tried finding help online but couldn't find anyone who has gone through, or, who is going through, the same thing. Here's my situation:
My husband and I have been discussing taking a holiday somewhere tropical with our 3 year old son... we were going to meet his brother and sister-in-law at our picked destination, until, finances were tight for them and they could no longer meet up with us... so, we decided the three of us would still go on a family trip... it would be the first time we'd all be away together, my husband, our son and I, special! A short while later, my husbands father gave my husband a little bit of a guilt trip saying we should be going to visit his brother instead (he lives on the other side of the country)... my husband asked me if we could go visit his brother instead. I told him I was disappointed, but understood that he wanted to see his brother and that we could try and make it work... travel costs now have almost tripled. It then turned into a family reunion, with my husbands parents and extended family all flying/traveling out. About two months ago, I realized that there is no wa y we can afford to all go on this trip... the finances just aren't there (if we booked, we would be skipping major bills and expenses - not the responsible thing to do). I tried explaining this to my husband and he got angry and blames me for the funding not being there. I told him that we are both at fault and they we, together, should have been saving and doing our finances together. He is so angry. My parents offered to pay his travel expenses to and from so HE could go and be with his family because they know how important family is, but they can't afford to, and nor should they, pay for ALL of us to go. The next pay my husband got, he took and forwarded to his mother and SHE booked a flight for my husband and son to go on this "family" trip LEAVING me behind WITH NO MONEY (because he spent it on the trip)... not only is all of our money gone, he will have no spending money while on holiday. I found out about all of this through an email that my mother-in-law sent to my husband (our emails are joint - I was not snooping) - so, I confronted her about this and she admitted that yes, she booked my husband and my son flights without my consent - all of this has been done behind my back. My husband thinks he can just take our three old son away from me for 2 weeks - I'm a stay at home mom and our son's primary caregiver - I haven't spent more than a night away from him. I feel SO incredibly sidelined and when I try to talk to my husband about how I'm feeling and how we can't afford this he just says "well, it's happening... our son and I are going on this trip". I think he's being cruel, unfair and childish and I don't understand how he can do this and feel that he can talk to me this way! I feel lost! Any input, advice, support I would SO appreciate. Thanks for taking the time to listen to my story. My heart is breaking!
r.
I'm new to this site and I'm hoping for some replies/advice/support... I've tried finding help online but couldn't find anyone who has gone through, or, who is going through, the same thing. Here's my situation:
My husband and I have been discussing taking a holiday somewhere tropical with our 3 year old son... we were going to meet his brother and sister-in-law at our picked destination, until, finances were tight for them and they could no longer meet up with us... so, we decided the three of us would still go on a family trip... it would be the first time we'd all be away together, my husband, our son and I, special! A short while later, my husbands father gave my husband a little bit of a guilt trip saying we should be going to visit his brother instead (he lives on the other side of the country)... my husband asked me if we could go visit his brother instead. I told him I was disappointed, but understood that he wanted to see his brother and that we could try and make it work... travel costs now have almost tripled. It then turned into a family reunion, with my husbands parents and extended family all flying/traveling out. About two months ago, I realized that there is no wa y we can afford to all go on this trip... the finances just aren't there (if we booked, we would be skipping major bills and expenses - not the responsible thing to do). I tried explaining this to my husband and he got angry and blames me for the funding not being there. I told him that we are both at fault and they we, together, should have been saving and doing our finances together. He is so angry. My parents offered to pay his travel expenses to and from so HE could go and be with his family because they know how important family is, but they can't afford to, and nor should they, pay for ALL of us to go. The next pay my husband got, he took and forwarded to his mother and SHE booked a flight for my husband and son to go on this "family" trip LEAVING me behind WITH NO MONEY (because he spent it on the trip)... not only is all of our money gone, he will have no spending money while on holiday. I found out about all of this through an email that my mother-in-law sent to my husband (our emails are joint - I was not snooping) - so, I confronted her about this and she admitted that yes, she booked my husband and my son flights without my consent - all of this has been done behind my back. My husband thinks he can just take our three old son away from me for 2 weeks - I'm a stay at home mom and our son's primary caregiver - I haven't spent more than a night away from him. I feel SO incredibly sidelined and when I try to talk to my husband about how I'm feeling and how we can't afford this he just says "well, it's happening... our son and I are going on this trip". I think he's being cruel, unfair and childish and I don't understand how he can do this and feel that he can talk to me this way! I feel lost! Any input, advice, support I would SO appreciate. Thanks for taking the time to listen to my story. My heart is breaking!
r.
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