I'm new to this and have never posted before so please bear with me. My husband and I have been married for 7 months now so we are extreme newlyweds. We are both in our early 20's but have been together for 6 years and feel that we both see ourselves with each other till death.
I was raised in a family where I washed the dishes, did the laundry, cooked, basic household stuff. My family is wealthy but humble as I was never raised to depending on money. My husband however has had a more lazy upbringing. His family are average earning people but he never had to lift a finger with regards to household chores.
The main thing that we always fight about, as you may have guessed, is who does the chores in our house...
As states before, we are both young and therefore are starting out in life and therefore cannot afford help around the house. I do majority of the chores because I know What it is like to leave a mess for too long and regret it. I try to make a statement by leaving things undone to show how gross it is to live in a pigsty but he doesn't seem to be bothered. I have to have a mental breakdown before he will do something to help out. He will then do so for a short period and decline again.
I understand that he has a 9 to 5 job which leave him exhausted aftewards and I have a job which is from 1 to 6. But surely I should not be "punished " for having a good job? A job which took me 6 years to get after slaving away in the hospitality industry where I worked like a dog all day everyday.
He has always been like this and he calls it a character flaw but I seriously cannot see how being so lazy in a mature relationship can be so. Why can he work so hard at work but come home and not care?
I get so depressed over this Obviously stupid issue which we fight over constantly... I'm exhausted. I need him to see that he needs to pick up his act. I also do the grocery shopping and earn more than him and cook and clean and take out the trash and pay the bills.
I don't want to be another divorce statistic or your typical "she got married too young" case...
How can I fix this?
We can't afford counselling
Thanks in advance
I was raised in a family where I washed the dishes, did the laundry, cooked, basic household stuff. My family is wealthy but humble as I was never raised to depending on money. My husband however has had a more lazy upbringing. His family are average earning people but he never had to lift a finger with regards to household chores.
The main thing that we always fight about, as you may have guessed, is who does the chores in our house...
As states before, we are both young and therefore are starting out in life and therefore cannot afford help around the house. I do majority of the chores because I know What it is like to leave a mess for too long and regret it. I try to make a statement by leaving things undone to show how gross it is to live in a pigsty but he doesn't seem to be bothered. I have to have a mental breakdown before he will do something to help out. He will then do so for a short period and decline again.
I understand that he has a 9 to 5 job which leave him exhausted aftewards and I have a job which is from 1 to 6. But surely I should not be "punished " for having a good job? A job which took me 6 years to get after slaving away in the hospitality industry where I worked like a dog all day everyday.
He has always been like this and he calls it a character flaw but I seriously cannot see how being so lazy in a mature relationship can be so. Why can he work so hard at work but come home and not care?
I get so depressed over this Obviously stupid issue which we fight over constantly... I'm exhausted. I need him to see that he needs to pick up his act. I also do the grocery shopping and earn more than him and cook and clean and take out the trash and pay the bills.
I don't want to be another divorce statistic or your typical "she got married too young" case...
How can I fix this?
We can't afford counselling
Thanks in advance
Put the internet to work for you.
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