About 9 months ago my husband and i finally separated. Things had not been right for a while and it was a mutual agreement. The last thing i wanted to do after us separating was meet someone else, but it happened. It all started out very friendly, but as time went on i started to grow feelings for him. He too had been through a separation and divorce so he became someone i confided in and felt he understood going through it all.
So for a while we would meet up for drinks or dinner. He told me he was very attracted to me physically but did not see relationship potential and just wanted to be friends. I said i understood and thought he may just be letting me down easy, but he still continued to talk to me.
After a while i started to sleep with him. I liked him so much that i caved and was hoping he may want to be with me. I know this never works with guys, but i felt so into him it was like temporarily being with him in the moment. I would stay over, we would cuddle and watch movies and he even said to me you know this isn't just about sex for me and he hoped i knew he cared more for me than my ex ever did.
Things were going okay for a few weeks and then i found out he had slept with someone else. He never actually admitted it, but i found out from someone else who knew him in a pure fluke situation. It was a mutual friend we had that we didn't even know we had until later on. It upset me because he told me that he wouldn't be sleeping with anyone else even though we were having casual sex, and if he was he would let me know, but i was the only one he was and wanted to sleep with.
A few weeks into us sleeping together, i told him i was falling in love with him and i still continued sleeping with him because i was too weak to stop it. I had never felt this way about anyone before. How much i liked him, i felt inferior around him, nervous. I have never experienced it before in my life.
The last time we slept together was strange. I stayed over but he didn't cuddle and wasn't affectionate like usual. Something seemed very off and this was the first time i ever felt like it was casual sex and it made me feel cheap. After he told me that he didn't think we should sleep together anymore because of my feelings and he didn't want anything with anyone for a while, even casual sex.
He always told me before we had sex we were friends and the friendship came first, but when the sex ended we never hung out as friends. He would always say he was just busy and stuff and we would hang out if i stopped nagging him about not hanging out. We got into an argument because i felt like he used me for sex and was using us being "friends" as a way to not sound so harsh about not wanting sex. I have a lot going on in my life but i was always there for him. I would ask how he was and he would just answer but not ask how i was, same when i asked about his plans for the weekend. He never showed any interest in how i was as an actual friend.
After our argument we didn't talk for a few days and then i asked how he was, he said he was fine and asked how i was, but he just seemed distant still. We didn't talk like before and i missed it because regardless of my feelings, he was the only one who knew so much about things going on in my personal life. I told him i missed how we used to chat and didn't feel like we were even friends. I felt like since we stopped having sex he didn't particularly care to speak to me anymore, but of course it was more of the same thing. He just told me he was busy a lot.
So after 2 weeks of not talking we spoke again. He told me since we last spoke he had met someone. He said he really liked her and they had been on dates and things were going really well. I thought after a break of not talking to him i may have been alright, but it really hurt hearing that. I acted like i was okay with it, but i wasn't.
A few days passed and i sent him a message saying that i can't do this. I have been trying to rebuild our friendship and miss talking daily but i don't think it is going to be that way anymore. I told him honestly that the thought of him with someone else hurts me and i can't take seeing pictures of him and some other girl on social media etc so i think i need to defriend him, but i wish him well with him and his new woman.
He came back and said that he thinks he just needs to remove himself from me completely because this is a cycle and is stupid and he wished me well too but then blocked me. I feel like the only way to truly move on was to stop talking to him, and i kept going back to talking because i didn't have the strength to move on, but after everything i feel like him blocking me was a bit of a smack in the face and permanent and has really hurt me. I feel totally used and was there for him so much as a friend and i gave so much. I know that having casual sex with him was on me as i knew he didn't want more, but with all the lies he told and feeling like he used the friendship as a way to reassure me sex wouldn't ruin it and we should do it basically just makes me feel like he manipulated me to try and get what he wants.
So now i am very hurt. I am trying to move on but it is so hard. I try and talk to other guys but i just don't feel the spark or chemistry that i felt with him. I feel like i am never going to meet anyone i like like i liked him and i can't help but constantly think about him still.
So for a while we would meet up for drinks or dinner. He told me he was very attracted to me physically but did not see relationship potential and just wanted to be friends. I said i understood and thought he may just be letting me down easy, but he still continued to talk to me.
After a while i started to sleep with him. I liked him so much that i caved and was hoping he may want to be with me. I know this never works with guys, but i felt so into him it was like temporarily being with him in the moment. I would stay over, we would cuddle and watch movies and he even said to me you know this isn't just about sex for me and he hoped i knew he cared more for me than my ex ever did.
Things were going okay for a few weeks and then i found out he had slept with someone else. He never actually admitted it, but i found out from someone else who knew him in a pure fluke situation. It was a mutual friend we had that we didn't even know we had until later on. It upset me because he told me that he wouldn't be sleeping with anyone else even though we were having casual sex, and if he was he would let me know, but i was the only one he was and wanted to sleep with.
A few weeks into us sleeping together, i told him i was falling in love with him and i still continued sleeping with him because i was too weak to stop it. I had never felt this way about anyone before. How much i liked him, i felt inferior around him, nervous. I have never experienced it before in my life.
The last time we slept together was strange. I stayed over but he didn't cuddle and wasn't affectionate like usual. Something seemed very off and this was the first time i ever felt like it was casual sex and it made me feel cheap. After he told me that he didn't think we should sleep together anymore because of my feelings and he didn't want anything with anyone for a while, even casual sex.
He always told me before we had sex we were friends and the friendship came first, but when the sex ended we never hung out as friends. He would always say he was just busy and stuff and we would hang out if i stopped nagging him about not hanging out. We got into an argument because i felt like he used me for sex and was using us being "friends" as a way to not sound so harsh about not wanting sex. I have a lot going on in my life but i was always there for him. I would ask how he was and he would just answer but not ask how i was, same when i asked about his plans for the weekend. He never showed any interest in how i was as an actual friend.
After our argument we didn't talk for a few days and then i asked how he was, he said he was fine and asked how i was, but he just seemed distant still. We didn't talk like before and i missed it because regardless of my feelings, he was the only one who knew so much about things going on in my personal life. I told him i missed how we used to chat and didn't feel like we were even friends. I felt like since we stopped having sex he didn't particularly care to speak to me anymore, but of course it was more of the same thing. He just told me he was busy a lot.
So after 2 weeks of not talking we spoke again. He told me since we last spoke he had met someone. He said he really liked her and they had been on dates and things were going really well. I thought after a break of not talking to him i may have been alright, but it really hurt hearing that. I acted like i was okay with it, but i wasn't.
A few days passed and i sent him a message saying that i can't do this. I have been trying to rebuild our friendship and miss talking daily but i don't think it is going to be that way anymore. I told him honestly that the thought of him with someone else hurts me and i can't take seeing pictures of him and some other girl on social media etc so i think i need to defriend him, but i wish him well with him and his new woman.
He came back and said that he thinks he just needs to remove himself from me completely because this is a cycle and is stupid and he wished me well too but then blocked me. I feel like the only way to truly move on was to stop talking to him, and i kept going back to talking because i didn't have the strength to move on, but after everything i feel like him blocking me was a bit of a smack in the face and permanent and has really hurt me. I feel totally used and was there for him so much as a friend and i gave so much. I know that having casual sex with him was on me as i knew he didn't want more, but with all the lies he told and feeling like he used the friendship as a way to reassure me sex wouldn't ruin it and we should do it basically just makes me feel like he manipulated me to try and get what he wants.
So now i am very hurt. I am trying to move on but it is so hard. I try and talk to other guys but i just don't feel the spark or chemistry that i felt with him. I feel like i am never going to meet anyone i like like i liked him and i can't help but constantly think about him still.
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