need woman's side

I have posted another tread about my issues, if you would like more of the story. I realize I have been an ahole for the last couple year and am changing what I don't like about myself. If my marriage will work out I don't know but I need some ladies input. When I calmed down and stop letting my emotions control me, I started analyzing the situation. I do over think things that may be the hardest thing to change. I leaned towards pre menapause because of the issued listed below. I know she is only 42 and that is young. She did have fertility issues and was on drugs for that. I don't know if that could play a factor or not, web sites say no. I would like your opinions on that but number 2 is where I want to focus. I am realizing she has had an emotional shut down except when it comes to the 5 year old. Even the 11 year old twins get less affection. In the last year or dog and cat died and she didn't want to discuss it, I don't even know if s he was sad at all. She has never really been an emotional person but there was some. When I asked if she has talk to anyone about us she said I don't talk about my feelings. I am going to try and get her to marraige counciling to bring things up we a third party because right now everything I do is wrong. Hopefully a councilor will see something or tell me I am nuts. I did get her to individual counciling once and she came back with identity crisis and confident in her discission. I don't see how an hour session could do all that. Maybe it is me, but after 20 years together something is amiss. I was having suicidal thoughts for 2 days and kept telling myself you can't do that to the boys. She said you should have told me and that was the end of it. I just feel a rational person would have been more empathetic. I know her mother has told her how short she is with the twins. I would like a woman side and suggestions on how to proceed.

1. She was having difference in body temp (not sure if she still is.)
2. emotional shut down.
3. mood swings.
4. things seem to set her off, no patience. 5. Physical touch repulses her, less physical contact with the kids.
6. can only concentrate on one thing.
7. wants to be isolated more.
8. in the bathroom more.
9. periods were off, light. (now I believe that was do to stress)
10. Tender breast
11 being selfish

Thank you

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