My relationship started with random roses, candlelight, lovemaking while music is playing, lovemaking in the middle of the night until dawn, poetry in text messages...
Now..
I have reasoned, pleaded, begged, threatened, and beyond.. to try to get more romance from my husband just so I can receive a plethora of excuses in return. "I work too hard and don't have enough time for that" ... thats his lecture/ rant summed up into a single sentence.
Yes, he is awesome. He works very hard to support our family while I am a stay at home mom with babies. And he will help with cooking sometimes, or dishes, or laundry on occasion.
I KNOW he is an amazing man. But lets face it - the romance is gone.
And I have spoken to him about things he can do that will take less than 2 minutes of his day that will mean SO MUCH to me and bring so much romance back into our lives.
A random text message - saying "you're amazing, i can't stop thinking about you"
I mean how hard is that? How time consuming?
It makes me resent him. Why won't he do this for me? After years of it going on like this, and years of intermittently gaining courage to talk to him about it and ask for more (just to receive a rant)... I finally decided to take matters into my own hands the other night. I decided I would coach him. I showed him very specifically the little things we can do together, or separately, to ignite passion.
Did he take it seriously? NO. Did it lead to fighting and tears? Yes.
I feel like he cares about me but he is no longer in love with me.
I dont understand why. I know I complain about things sometimes and explain that i need more from him... but on the whole, I am always saying "thank you" and telling him that he is amazing and smart, and a wonderful father, and brilliant businessman ... and I don't let his efforts go unnoticed.
And I have NOT let myself go. I am in my late 20s and I'm prettier than average and I have a nice body and healthy BMI... Thats pretty good for having had 3 children.
I make it a point to put on my makeup and do my hair and dress nicely when he is here on the weekends.
I don't know what to do. I can't keep living like this but I don't believe in divorce. I watched my parents' divorce tear apart our whole family. I can't do that to my children. And my guilty conscience is such that I don't think I'd be able to have an affair and actually keep it a secret. I don't believe in affairs anyway. I believe in ROMANCE. One LOVE. One passionate love that BOTH partners work at to keep the fire burning. Why is this too much to ask?
I don't know what to do. But my advice to anyone who is single or divorced.... DONT GET MARRIED.
I long for those passion-filled nights, and text messages that create butterflies in my tummy and make me smile like a fool. Those days are no more and I fear that I am abandoned to be tragically wasted in this world full of passion. No more passion for me.
Now..
I have reasoned, pleaded, begged, threatened, and beyond.. to try to get more romance from my husband just so I can receive a plethora of excuses in return. "I work too hard and don't have enough time for that" ... thats his lecture/ rant summed up into a single sentence.
Yes, he is awesome. He works very hard to support our family while I am a stay at home mom with babies. And he will help with cooking sometimes, or dishes, or laundry on occasion.
I KNOW he is an amazing man. But lets face it - the romance is gone.
And I have spoken to him about things he can do that will take less than 2 minutes of his day that will mean SO MUCH to me and bring so much romance back into our lives.
A random text message - saying "you're amazing, i can't stop thinking about you"
I mean how hard is that? How time consuming?
It makes me resent him. Why won't he do this for me? After years of it going on like this, and years of intermittently gaining courage to talk to him about it and ask for more (just to receive a rant)... I finally decided to take matters into my own hands the other night. I decided I would coach him. I showed him very specifically the little things we can do together, or separately, to ignite passion.
Did he take it seriously? NO. Did it lead to fighting and tears? Yes.
I feel like he cares about me but he is no longer in love with me.
I dont understand why. I know I complain about things sometimes and explain that i need more from him... but on the whole, I am always saying "thank you" and telling him that he is amazing and smart, and a wonderful father, and brilliant businessman ... and I don't let his efforts go unnoticed.
And I have NOT let myself go. I am in my late 20s and I'm prettier than average and I have a nice body and healthy BMI... Thats pretty good for having had 3 children.
I make it a point to put on my makeup and do my hair and dress nicely when he is here on the weekends.
I don't know what to do. I can't keep living like this but I don't believe in divorce. I watched my parents' divorce tear apart our whole family. I can't do that to my children. And my guilty conscience is such that I don't think I'd be able to have an affair and actually keep it a secret. I don't believe in affairs anyway. I believe in ROMANCE. One LOVE. One passionate love that BOTH partners work at to keep the fire burning. Why is this too much to ask?
I don't know what to do. But my advice to anyone who is single or divorced.... DONT GET MARRIED.
I long for those passion-filled nights, and text messages that create butterflies in my tummy and make me smile like a fool. Those days are no more and I fear that I am abandoned to be tragically wasted in this world full of passion. No more passion for me.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment