In 2002 I met a man who asked me out on a date and I agreed. When our first date came it was amazing, He was funny, kind and nice looking. He had just come out of a long term relationship and I had just been finished by Paul from uni. I have known Paul for some time but we only slept together once.
David and I started to see each other and call regular, one night we agreed to meet in town, he was with his mates and I was with my uni pals, Paul was also with us. David and I was flirting and talking when my girlfriend from uni pulled me away and said I should give Paul a second chance because he regrets finishing it and sleeping with the other girl. David was an engineer and she said that he was uneducated and Paul will be. Anyway, I went back to Paul but I was still driving and calling David all of the time. Paul and I slept together again (the second time) and he soon finished it. David and I were still calling and seeing each other but again on a night out together I run into another ex and I slept with him. It never felt right so we finished. I never told David about it and I was also flirting with his other mate from school and he kissed me. Because I was a little off with David he took a little back step..
I decided to keep seeing David and I had a party at mine when my family were away. David was not very well but came to spend time with me but had to go to bed, so I took him to my room. I left and carried on drinking, and ended up sleeping with his brother on the floor downstairs. It was not full sex because I knew I liked David more, so pushed him off. The next day came and I told David, Chris and had kissed and I regretted it. (Only a Kiss) (Lied)
David and I were just starting out and were not together in a sexual way but very close. Because of my flirting with most men David wanted to take things slow and get to know each other first properly.
The time came when David and I made love, it was amazing. I had slept with 13 other people and had never felt like this. It was orgasmic and it blew my mind, I had never done that before.. By this point, I knew I loved him, so much. We were dating and all was going well until he has suspicions about what I had done, not the sex acts, but he was very uncomfortable with my constant attention seeking and flirting. His friends and family got involved and advised he say away. I went on holiday for a week or so and we called each-other and had a chat, he said that he could not trust me because of the way I conduct myself and his ex-had found out, and said she wanted him, after-all he was with her for 6 years and met when they were both young.
I was hurt that he had finished with me because we spoke about getting engaged. I loved him so much; I could not imagine my life without him. Anyway, the next day I slept with someone else. (I regretted it) I got home and David and I started to speak again, he asked if I met anyone on holiday and I said no, I just wanted you back(lied again) I knew he loved me and I loved him. We spoke and became friends but kept have sexual encounters (he was still with the other girl). Things were so right between us. Anyway I went and slept with another ex (never told David)
I started to sleep with quite a few lads at uni on the quite but seeing David as and when he was free because he worked day and night 6/7 days a week.one weekend I had sex with 3 different men fri, sat and David on Sunday. He asked if I was seeing anyone and I said no. truth is I used to have sex with people and not use protection.
I had to ask David to join me for an STI check because I have slept with most of my partners without a condom. I never told David the reason. I just said it was so we both know we are clean. He said no because he had only slept with a few people and he knows his history and they were all long term. Truth is I had slept with a number of people since David and I started out. The problem I am having is I have had 14 one night stands and 5 very short relationships. I never felt anything for any of them in truth, I liked a few of them but most of the one night stands were just that and would not be anything more than that. I liked the feeling of someone liking me, kissing me but the sex was just lay there till it was over and then leave soon after but not too soon.
David and I got back together he sold his businesses, newsagents etc because He wanted to spend time with me. We spoke about selling his house, which he did and move into mine because mine was small and his was large and expensive to run.
It sold very fast and we were together living in mine. I was so happy to have him back. I went to a friend's wedding and ended up kissing someone else. I got home and never told David. A few month passed and he went camping and I went out with work. I got a taxy back with some people from work and to cut a long story short I invited one in and kissed him just for a second. David called to say goodnight. Again he asked if thing were ok and I said yes. I went back to the bloke from work and asked him to leave. I never told him the truth (I Lied)
Anyway, we got married and had a child, moved into a new house and things were great until my ex called and asked to meet me again. I called David and he said, you are not off to see him, " just do what is right " So I argued that we were friends, I have not spoken to him for years like. I know I would not want David to see his ex but He flatters me and I wanted to meet him. Anyway the text got very sexual and I thought I better not go and did not go in the end.
I never told David about any of my past, cheating, his brother, the two blokes when he was away or I was.
He feels like I have trapped him because he asked me about his suspicions over the years. In truth I have, I wanted to be married to him and have his children. I know he will forgive just 15 years of lies. All my family and friend hate him because I told them he was the bad one.
The question is do, I diverse this man. I just keep hurting him, I know I love him and he is my world. He has nearly left so many times because of the things I have done. I made out that we had done so many special things and it was my first with him. The foundations of us were built on lies and manipulation. I hid my past because I knew he had strong morals he waited till thing were right before we slept together.
I lie about most things I stems from my childhood. I have not done anything since the last work mate.
The problem has arisen because I made out David was a cheating laying git and everyone hates him. I lied to protect myself he had never done a thing wrong. It's me who has slept around lied and hurt people. I have slept with people my friends like because I wanted them, it may have only been for a short time but I got them. I have slept with 20 men and have only cared for one. Why have I done all of these hurtful things to people I care about.
Put the internet to work for you.
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