I'm friends with a guy - though not close friends, more like casual. We only ever hang out in a group. He's eight years older than me and I used to have a massive crush on him. Part of me still likes him at times, but it's not an all-consuming thing. A lot of the time he simply annoys me. He's very extroverted and seems to love being the centre of attention - not a problem in itself. The thing that annoys me is that he's always belittling me in not-so-subtle ways. He does anything to get a laugh and can be quite degrading at times. We also argue incessantly about the silliest little things. I think it irritates other people. He always starts it and tries to wind me up, but I always respond. I think the reason I do is because it's a way of us interacting without things feeling awkward. Whenever we're alone things feel really stilted between us, no matter how hard I try to be natural. In a group setting things are fine and we can chat away quite normally, one-on-one just so long as other people are there.
I suppose the thing I struggle with is he does at times hurt my feelings. I don't want to seem like I have no sense of humour, but I think because of the way he treats me I find myself responding negatively, putting him down and responding in a similar way. It's a vicious cycle. Deep down I think he's probably not a nasty person - he's just the kind of person who'll do anything for a laugh. I'm not after a relationship with this guy (we clash too much anyway and he's too immature for a thirty-something), but I wish, at times, that he'd be a bit more considerate and our friendship was more civil and less constantly being at each other's throats.
Any ways I can get out of this rut? It's so frustrating.
Put the internet to work for you.
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