I dont know what to do. ive known my wife and loved her so deeply for more than 10 years and married for more than 5. but a few years back she bagan working in hollywood as an agent and at first she would come home crying everyday because of the way the other executive men treated her, demeaning her etc. she vowed to never be like them. over time, she began to toughen up and then began treating me like that. i never did anything to deserve it. her business partner is the most toxic person ive ever met and sometimes i feel like she loves him. she talks to him more than me. she shares things with him that she doesnt even tell me. and then the way they talk to each other is awful. they talk so rudely, snapping and treating each other like garbage. she is very impressionable so she has become like him and now does that to me too for no reason.
im a good faithful husband who works full time, manages our home and properties, buys all the groceries and home supplies, cooks all the meals, cleans the house, plans all our social events and dinners, etc, takes care of mail and bills and cars, and literally everything else under the sun. the ONLY thing she does is her job. nothing else. i dont even dare ask her for a glass of water because she snaps at me or might give it very rudely or snap and say "ok later im busy." she is always busy. always on her laptop or phone. i get it. she has done well for herself at her job but a lot in part because i took on so much of everything else to let her spread her wings and fly. on top of all that, we dont have any intimacy either. i beg her to come sit with me on the couch and hug or cuddle and she wont, or she might for 5 seconds and then leave. it breaks my heart how bad i hurt inside.
but up until recently ive been able to just deal with it all. but lately the abuse has gotten worse and we now have our first baby which has made things 100x worse. as a mother, she does more of the heavy lifting with the baby, and im not in denial about that. but i gladly do anythign asked of me. changing diapers, dream feedings, etc. i even personally did over 100 interviews to find cheap nanny help and mantain and hired and pay those people. all to help her.
but its like she is becoming bi-polar. i dont mean that as a metaphor. i think she might actually be becoming like that. sometimes she is nice and smiling and then for no reason she goes off on me. she blames me when anything is wrong and snaps at me for no reason. i have never raised my voice at her in 10+ years and still never do, even in an argument. i try my best to see her side of things. i always apologize first because she will never apologize otherwise. in 10 years she has never apologized first without me begging her to. im just so tired of the insincere behavior and cruelty from her. i want so bad to fix this but i feel like im the only one trying or who even cares. i honestly believe that if i left her, she wouldnt even care. imagine what that must make someone feel like when they love someone else so deeply.
even now im crying as i write this because my heart is breaking and im so sad. i dont know what to do i really dont. im just so sad and hurt and feel broken by how she treats me. im not suicidal, but sometimes i feel like maybe life would be easier if i wasnt around. i already feel invisible at home. imagine begging your wife to just hug you. just HUG. and she wont. and i do all these things for her. i knoew its not all her fault. i know its her job that made her like this. but i dont know how to make her see it. ive tried to talk to her about it many times and she loses her mind and screams so our neighbors can hear and just turns it around on me.
what do i do? please help....i dont want to end things. we have a child. we have so many memories. i want her to quit her job so bad but she wont because she runs the company now. but i honestly think thats the only thing that will save our marriage.
im a good faithful husband who works full time, manages our home and properties, buys all the groceries and home supplies, cooks all the meals, cleans the house, plans all our social events and dinners, etc, takes care of mail and bills and cars, and literally everything else under the sun. the ONLY thing she does is her job. nothing else. i dont even dare ask her for a glass of water because she snaps at me or might give it very rudely or snap and say "ok later im busy." she is always busy. always on her laptop or phone. i get it. she has done well for herself at her job but a lot in part because i took on so much of everything else to let her spread her wings and fly. on top of all that, we dont have any intimacy either. i beg her to come sit with me on the couch and hug or cuddle and she wont, or she might for 5 seconds and then leave. it breaks my heart how bad i hurt inside.
but up until recently ive been able to just deal with it all. but lately the abuse has gotten worse and we now have our first baby which has made things 100x worse. as a mother, she does more of the heavy lifting with the baby, and im not in denial about that. but i gladly do anythign asked of me. changing diapers, dream feedings, etc. i even personally did over 100 interviews to find cheap nanny help and mantain and hired and pay those people. all to help her.
but its like she is becoming bi-polar. i dont mean that as a metaphor. i think she might actually be becoming like that. sometimes she is nice and smiling and then for no reason she goes off on me. she blames me when anything is wrong and snaps at me for no reason. i have never raised my voice at her in 10+ years and still never do, even in an argument. i try my best to see her side of things. i always apologize first because she will never apologize otherwise. in 10 years she has never apologized first without me begging her to. im just so tired of the insincere behavior and cruelty from her. i want so bad to fix this but i feel like im the only one trying or who even cares. i honestly believe that if i left her, she wouldnt even care. imagine what that must make someone feel like when they love someone else so deeply.
even now im crying as i write this because my heart is breaking and im so sad. i dont know what to do i really dont. im just so sad and hurt and feel broken by how she treats me. im not suicidal, but sometimes i feel like maybe life would be easier if i wasnt around. i already feel invisible at home. imagine begging your wife to just hug you. just HUG. and she wont. and i do all these things for her. i knoew its not all her fault. i know its her job that made her like this. but i dont know how to make her see it. ive tried to talk to her about it many times and she loses her mind and screams so our neighbors can hear and just turns it around on me.
what do i do? please help....i dont want to end things. we have a child. we have so many memories. i want her to quit her job so bad but she wont because she runs the company now. but i honestly think thats the only thing that will save our marriage.
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