Hi guys :)
For the past 7 months I've been in a relationship with a wonderful guy who is also my best friend. I love him, we can talk for hours, he's always there for me. We're long distance because we study at different unis, so we're only able to see each other about once a month for a couple of days but we also spent together the whole month at his place this summer.
Anyway, recently I asked him whether he was watching porn, he answered positively but said it was only about once a week or so. I understand that since I'm far away I can't give him what he needs but I still felt terrible when I heard this. It makes me feel sick and inadequate to think that he would get aroused over another women. I'm not saying he shouldn't be attracted to anyone else but me, he's a human being so it's natural, however masturbating over that other person hurts me. I tried to be understanding and didn't reveal the whole truth when confronting him. I said I don't mind it for now however if he did that when we lived together I'd feel very uncomfortable. He answered that he doesn't understand why I'd feel that way since he'd never choose watching porn over sexy times with me and that he just uses porn when he needs to get off. He said he wouldn't want to get sexually frustrated when waiting for me or when I was not in the mood and would like to be able to take c are of that himself. I told him I'd still feel bad about that so he replied that he wouldn't want to keep it a secret but if I left him not other choice he'd do that since there's nothing that forces him to tell me and fobidden things are more attractive.
So my questions are:
Am I being ridiculous? Is it more worth to occasionally get off to naked unrealistic girls that you'll never meet than making the person you love feel comfortable and happy? Should I tell him that I feel hurt about him watching porn even now, when we're apart?
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