I am in a bit of a predicament. My H and I have not gotten along for quite some time. Things go well some days and terrible other days. Some days I think I have got to get away from this. Then we will have a few good days and I think "ya know this is not so bad." This seems to be an endless cycle. It is driving me crazy, literally.
My H and I have been in T for 2 years and things have improved greatly, but things are starting to backslide. There are several things that concern me. I haven't worked in 17 years, I/we have 3 kids, and it has always been our agreement that I would stay at home until our last child no longer was so dependent on me.
The other thing that concern me are superficial. They are just hard to walk away from. We have been married for 20 years, my H is a deacon in the church, our house is paid for, and we finally have the land like we have always dreamed. We stick built our new house 4 years ago. Our house and land are paid for. We have the perfect set up for the future, but there may be no future.
Things just have not been good for a real long time and I am nt so sure I can stay. When things are good I can stay, but when things are like this I just can't stay. I don't know how I am gonna tell my H, I don't know how I will tell the kids, the church, my family. Man this is gonna be difficult. I don't know for sure I am doing the right thing. But I am pretty sure I am doing thr right thing. I struggle every day. He tries to convince me I am the problem, I am difficult to live with, that he gives me the world. I am the bad one. But that is so not true. And of course you have no reason to believe my opinion and how I see things. We all see our own side of the story. He has been so abusive in the past, verbally and emotionally. He belittles me, he power trips me, the kids dread when he comes home, and are happy when he leaves. I do know I am doing the right thing. It is just so hard to believe.
My T is helping me find some decent lawyers. I plan on visiting a few in the coming weeks to find out which ones seem to meet my needs the best. In the mean time, I am just going to be hanging in here silently hoping I do not feel the need to escape before I get to talk t lawyers.
I don't feel like I have the stregnth to live in the same house with him if things take a turn for the worse. I don't think I can stand up for my self against him. All I can do at the moment is hang tight and go off by my self and like an injured dog lick my own wounds.
I don't know what to call this thread. I am seeking no help from you guys I suppose. I guess I mostly need support. Support form folks I have come to know in the past few months. Thank you for listening and taking the time to read this.
By the way I do accept prayers from others. All I can pray for for myself is that the Lords will be done and that God will grant me the ability to accept his will.
My H and I have been in T for 2 years and things have improved greatly, but things are starting to backslide. There are several things that concern me. I haven't worked in 17 years, I/we have 3 kids, and it has always been our agreement that I would stay at home until our last child no longer was so dependent on me.
The other thing that concern me are superficial. They are just hard to walk away from. We have been married for 20 years, my H is a deacon in the church, our house is paid for, and we finally have the land like we have always dreamed. We stick built our new house 4 years ago. Our house and land are paid for. We have the perfect set up for the future, but there may be no future.
Things just have not been good for a real long time and I am nt so sure I can stay. When things are good I can stay, but when things are like this I just can't stay. I don't know how I am gonna tell my H, I don't know how I will tell the kids, the church, my family. Man this is gonna be difficult. I don't know for sure I am doing the right thing. But I am pretty sure I am doing thr right thing. I struggle every day. He tries to convince me I am the problem, I am difficult to live with, that he gives me the world. I am the bad one. But that is so not true. And of course you have no reason to believe my opinion and how I see things. We all see our own side of the story. He has been so abusive in the past, verbally and emotionally. He belittles me, he power trips me, the kids dread when he comes home, and are happy when he leaves. I do know I am doing the right thing. It is just so hard to believe.
My T is helping me find some decent lawyers. I plan on visiting a few in the coming weeks to find out which ones seem to meet my needs the best. In the mean time, I am just going to be hanging in here silently hoping I do not feel the need to escape before I get to talk t lawyers.
I don't feel like I have the stregnth to live in the same house with him if things take a turn for the worse. I don't think I can stand up for my self against him. All I can do at the moment is hang tight and go off by my self and like an injured dog lick my own wounds.
I don't know what to call this thread. I am seeking no help from you guys I suppose. I guess I mostly need support. Support form folks I have come to know in the past few months. Thank you for listening and taking the time to read this.
By the way I do accept prayers from others. All I can pray for for myself is that the Lords will be done and that God will grant me the ability to accept his will.
Put the internet to work for you.
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