Hello. I met this guy in uni during my Master' s in London. He was very insistent on dating me and kept asking me out till I gave in. And I gave in so unconsciously and kept falling in love. We had those mesmerized-with-each other moments and really believed we were soul mates and were almost living together. He told me repeatedly he wants to marry me. He then but went home for 10 days and kissed his ex girlfriend, broke up with me on text.
I was shattered but the worst is I was so much in love and in denial that I did not accept it. When he got back, there were these moments of zero self esteem when I'd ask him to take me back as he was in two minds about his ex girlfriend still. He gave me mixed reactions. I booked my flight home and came in after a few weeks (during which we spoke little) and then when I saw him 'as friends', he seemed very interested again. I was still in love madly. We kept seeing each other. He told me he talks to his ex girlfriend but they are not dating and it is slowly coming to an end with her. He is trying to end it once and for all and told me to wait until a month before he could start something with me. Things were quicker. He
invited me over one day and told me he loves me and wanted to 'attempt rebuilding things with me'. I was over the moon. He promised me how he had broken up with the ex, how he had tried all this time to make her realize he was not the one and all that.
5 days after him promising me marriage and a future together, he gets a text from his ex which disturbs him a lot. He tells me it's nothing and cooks up a ****ty story. I obviously believe him: he is very convincing and charming (and elder to me by 4 years). We continue dating until I realize his behaviour is changing and he is becoming withdrawn. We had our exams that time and I hinted him to keep this going (just in case he wants to break up) until the exams end. The day they did, he breaks up with me blaming me for being over- anxious and him not being able to take it and ****. I really believed it was my problem and went on to blame myself for weeks for having ruined our second chance.
15 days after our break up, I discover an email he sent out to his ex about how he loves her, how he pursued her in March and April and she kept saying no (this was when him and me were friends and he told me he is trying to end things with her forever), how he really wants her in life and wants to marry her. He wrote to her that he has thought about her everyday since March. This was written days after our second break up. His email was opened on my laptop. He had lied to me through and through. That one text that made him get so upset was her asking him to get back (after 2 months of being pursued). Well I don't know why he dragged me in.
A rational person would just move out now but I was in denial of this whole thing and was extremely angry and upset. I went into depression. We were still meeting every day. I was addicted to him. He agreed to help me move on- terrible idea. There would be times I'd snoop on his phone and he had texted his ex gf how there was no one he had dated in London and **** and it was only her. Load of crap. I feel bad for the girl who does not know about his one night stands and his relationship with me. He tells her she is the only girl he has ever slept with! But he has told me about at least 5 other women in his recent past! We were living in the same building- him and me and post the break up, when he told me loves her, I was still nice and friendly. He was cocky about admitting his mistakes. Never said a heartfelt sorry to me, except when I pointed it out. It was awful.
Now he leaves the country in 3 days and told me he is going to ask that ex to marry him. Him and me have been broken up for 2 months and I told him I am fine but we have been practically spending all the time together since the break up as well. He is an ass when I think of it. Should I tell his ex gf about him? Does she need to know about his lies before marrying him? It is so embarrassing. All our friends here knew we were together and now he is going to be with another girl so soon. While he has moved on to love, I have been left with lies, deceit and loneliness which I know I need to get over. What do I do? Do I tell her once? I doubt he'd be loyal to her and we come from a conservative society where divorces are not common. I think it is none of my business but I want to do it out of revenge more like and also some general sense of justice for the girl who has put up with him for 7 years!
Put the internet to work for you.
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