Hi, I'm a 26 year old female, this is my first post here. I have been married to my husband for almost 8 years. Almost three years ago, I gave up all that I knew to move to a different state to support him in his career. Things seemed to be great for most of our marriage, and he would say the same. Sure we would fight from time to time, every couple does. We have tried to travel and take a few trips, I try to plan things that I think he would really enjoy, he surprised me back in April during our trip to Las Vegas, with champagne and chocolate covered strawberries he had arranged in advance, just to say he loves me. However, just within the last few weeks, he has come to me saying he has been unhappy for a while now and wants a divorce. Shortly after that, I found text messages that showed he was having an affair. He claims this woman means absolutely nothing to him, and he wouldn't be bothered to never see or talk to her again, which wont be the case bec ause they work together and he considers her a friend. He is holding on to the fact that she has absolutely nothing to do with his decision.
We did go to one session of marriage counseling just recently, and the counselor thought it would be a good idea for him to move out for the time being, thinking maybe if I wasn't around all the time he would realize he misses me and that I am a great wife. He had also agreed to not see the other woman outside of work, he would not be in contact with her at all unless it was work related.
Even after that, I am still desperate to try to make things work, because I can't just throw away the last 8 years of our lives like it was nothing, and he says there is no point because he no longer wants to be in a relationship. He says there are things about me that he just doesn't like anymore, the fact that I have become overweight, that I am too clingy, shy, dependent and that he doesn't love me anymore. I believe all of these things can be changed with a little bit of time and work on both of our parts.
He is now staying with a friend of his, and I just need advice to how I can go about trying to fix our relationship or at least convince him our marriage is worth fighting for. Is it possible to fix this? Is this just a rough patch in our marriage that can be worked through? Since he has left, I have been extremely depressed, emotional and anxious. I can't eat or sleep and I feel stupid for still wanting to give it my all. I just can't imagine my life without my partner. My entire support group is 1000 miles away. If we give up right now, we will be giving up without trying everything we can.
Please help! :confused:
We did go to one session of marriage counseling just recently, and the counselor thought it would be a good idea for him to move out for the time being, thinking maybe if I wasn't around all the time he would realize he misses me and that I am a great wife. He had also agreed to not see the other woman outside of work, he would not be in contact with her at all unless it was work related.
Even after that, I am still desperate to try to make things work, because I can't just throw away the last 8 years of our lives like it was nothing, and he says there is no point because he no longer wants to be in a relationship. He says there are things about me that he just doesn't like anymore, the fact that I have become overweight, that I am too clingy, shy, dependent and that he doesn't love me anymore. I believe all of these things can be changed with a little bit of time and work on both of our parts.
He is now staying with a friend of his, and I just need advice to how I can go about trying to fix our relationship or at least convince him our marriage is worth fighting for. Is it possible to fix this? Is this just a rough patch in our marriage that can be worked through? Since he has left, I have been extremely depressed, emotional and anxious. I can't eat or sleep and I feel stupid for still wanting to give it my all. I just can't imagine my life without my partner. My entire support group is 1000 miles away. If we give up right now, we will be giving up without trying everything we can.
Please help! :confused:
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