Hi everyone
After 3 years of separation I still feel incredibly heartbroken and some days I feel like I am in a state of shock and disbelief at the things that happened. I feel deep hurt and pain and have extensive bouts of anxiety and periods of waking very early in the morning and I cant go back to sleep.
I coped by taking up sport and practicing self care and really took care of myself - even though I was in the throes of deep depression brought on by my husband walking out on me without a word of communication. I came home from work to a note in our kitchen that he'd left me and that it 'was for the best'........
I was devastated and still am - I tried to keep communication open for more than a year after he left and there was a period where we were working towards reconciling and he was going to move home.
I did a lot of work in therapy and some difficult reality checks, realising my husband was abusive, and he had very frightening anger issues, that he continued to use against me along with his intimidating and bullying behaviour. I had to make a very difficult decision to go to court and get a safety order to keep him away from the house as his behaviour was escalating and I was terrified to go outside for fear of being the brunt of another of his crazed emotional outbursts.
I really love this man and I care deeply about him, since we've been separated I've been able to see things more clearly and understand the whys of his behaviour and the issues he has. I hoped we'd have a better relationship that the none that we have.
I thought that since he was so adamant about leaving me and never coming home again that he'd have been rushing to sort out the divorce and our property. But there's not a sound from him - nothing - nada. This makes me so angry as he's literally dumped the lot on me and he doesn't engage with my legal team. He just acts like I don't exist and he's not dealing with things at all. I didn't want this separation - and I didn't push things as I feel divorce is the most brutal act and really doesn't sort out the issues. His running away hasn't helped me at all and I really miss him and wanted to support him.
I don't know why I writing this because it looks like a mumble jumble and my thoughts are a bit of a mess. I feel like a bit of a mess at times and I know my mental health is still fragile....
thanks for reading
Nora
After 3 years of separation I still feel incredibly heartbroken and some days I feel like I am in a state of shock and disbelief at the things that happened. I feel deep hurt and pain and have extensive bouts of anxiety and periods of waking very early in the morning and I cant go back to sleep.
I coped by taking up sport and practicing self care and really took care of myself - even though I was in the throes of deep depression brought on by my husband walking out on me without a word of communication. I came home from work to a note in our kitchen that he'd left me and that it 'was for the best'........
I was devastated and still am - I tried to keep communication open for more than a year after he left and there was a period where we were working towards reconciling and he was going to move home.
I did a lot of work in therapy and some difficult reality checks, realising my husband was abusive, and he had very frightening anger issues, that he continued to use against me along with his intimidating and bullying behaviour. I had to make a very difficult decision to go to court and get a safety order to keep him away from the house as his behaviour was escalating and I was terrified to go outside for fear of being the brunt of another of his crazed emotional outbursts.
I really love this man and I care deeply about him, since we've been separated I've been able to see things more clearly and understand the whys of his behaviour and the issues he has. I hoped we'd have a better relationship that the none that we have.
I thought that since he was so adamant about leaving me and never coming home again that he'd have been rushing to sort out the divorce and our property. But there's not a sound from him - nothing - nada. This makes me so angry as he's literally dumped the lot on me and he doesn't engage with my legal team. He just acts like I don't exist and he's not dealing with things at all. I didn't want this separation - and I didn't push things as I feel divorce is the most brutal act and really doesn't sort out the issues. His running away hasn't helped me at all and I really miss him and wanted to support him.
I don't know why I writing this because it looks like a mumble jumble and my thoughts are a bit of a mess. I feel like a bit of a mess at times and I know my mental health is still fragile....
thanks for reading
Nora
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