I need support and help and I have no one I can talk to this about. Ive been with my husband for 13 years, met wen i was 14. At 17 I have my first baby with him and married a year later. We lived with this mum and had no financial worries as we both had good jobs. When my first child was 3 we moved in our own house. Before buying the house everything was fine and I felt happy even though we had a few arguments where he got very emotionally and verbally abusive to me when drunk. When we moved in our new house we decided to have another baby. On my first scan they told me a I had a cancerous tumor in my cervix and needed chemo and stayed unemployed for 6 month when we just bought a house. The sickness, financial and stress of moving and the heartbreak of no being able to even try getting pregnant until after a year really messed up our relationship. when we finally had the baby the sleepless nights and a crying baby 24/7 made us really resentful towards ea chother and started comparing what house work we had each done. (I do all housework, cook, clean, dishses, laundry, dusting, playing with kids, drop them off at school and nanny everyday) He works same hours as me but does less than half the housework I do. Sex life....he has premature ejaculation and its nearly impossible of me coming before him :( he goes to bed with my baby whilst I finish cleaning and getting all clothes ironed and ready for work and for kids for next day. HE falls asleep with baby and i dont like waking him up for sex and he sleep talks and tells me to leave him alone etc. moral of sex life not great. i think ive lost respect for him since one day he went out since 1pm to 1 am and came home shouting at me (whilst 2 month old baby was asleep) he grabbed my leg and pulled me off the bed and started saying he wanted sex. I said no and he started shouting and slapped my leg, my baby woke up crying so i picked him up and he was walking around the hse follo wing me shouting horrible things whilst i was holding the baby. he said he was gonna kill me and my dad. I forgave him but then he did something similar again. since then i dont feel the same way about him, hard to explain. he is critical of me all the time and we have nothing in common to talk about. sometime I fantasize what my life would be without him and I think I would be happier. Im so happy and funny around my friends, but around my husband Im quiet and sad and angry. Im scared to say something he doesnt like or replys with something I dont wanna hear. Ive ended up with antideppresants, sleeping pills and Im only 26. I wouldnt be able to go elsewhere and I cannot afford to pay this house on my own. I dont drive so Im dependent to him in that also. Obv I also think I would break my kids heart to have a broken family :( Im so confsued and have no one to talk about this :(((( my family told me they do not wanna know anything about my marriage problems if I am going t o stay with him :(( help pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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