Hi everyone, such a long story I don't know where to start but my wife and I are separated "officially" now for almost 2 weeks. There has been no contact for 5 long to me, days and nights. The real problems began for me 4 months ago but she says she has had a problem for 6 or 7 years. Says she can't relax around me. That she feels nothing but stress to do the right things or nothing is done right. Says she loves me and cares but has no love or affection for me. In several arguments she has said that she doesn't like the physical contact of any kind. As for me, I'm sure I'm no picnic to be around sometimes. Never felt it was more than just being a grouchy old fart of 47 (married 2 weeks shy of my 20th anniversary). I think as the physical contact over the years was not what I would like, I became bitter at times and would say off hand comments or mean things. Didn't realize the hurt to her until finally 4 months ago it came to a head and she told me. I was heartbroken that I had done that and made a firm commitment to make it better no matter what. It just hasn't been so straight forward to her. After we struggled and stayed apart nights and tried to talk only leading to more conflicts. Several temp counselor a for her but never with me for some reason and me contacting the church pastor with still no help. We have separated. I have rented an apartment, changed my bank account... For all purpose we are living terms of what I feel a divorce is. We have talked amicably about divorce and even seen the lawyer to draw up papers but when I went to sign my part, I was just floored by the whole process. Didn't know it was an actual lawsuit with plaintiffs/defendants. But accepted it but when I read the reason for divorce "general and personal indignities" I couldn't do it. I feel I have given up plenty in her idea for the issue and my pride had finally run out. I don't feel anything I may have done calls for ending 20 years. I fe el we should be able to work it out. Not sure if she feels that way or not and may just serve me with papers. Okay with me cause then she will have to explain to everyone the reasons. Anyhow lots of details to add but would be interested in others help with my struggles. Thanks and sorry for such a long story but only the beginning for me.
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