Everyone I need your honest opinion, there is something that has been affecting me in a VERY negative way lately. I will try to briefly describe the story. There was this girl that I had a friendly relationship with for a short time. Because of an accumulation of negative events in my life (family, financial and academic issues), as well as pretty much losing a dream I had been fighting for my entire life, I became very depressed. At the same time I had a feeling she was ignoring me but I am not sure if that was really happening.
Because of that I acted very needy towards her, I ended up telling her I had feelings for her but that I just wanted to be her friend and nothing more (she had a boyfriend) and that I would really feel better if we had a talk because i felt like she was avoiding me. Right away her boyfriend answered, calling me an obsessed maniac and telling me that she doesn't want to know me. Being already depressed that made me feel even worse. I don't think I have felt this bad in my entire life before. I had just lost my dream and right after, because of my stupidity, I lost a friend. I felt pain, guilt and regret all at once in a way I have never felt before. I foolishly tried to apologize (in a very needy way unfortunately) pretty much once a week for five times (there was no answer), and then I stopped all contact.
Fortunately after two months everything went back to normal regarding my goal. But I still felt guilt for acting like that towards her. I sent her a message asking her if she felt like talking so that I could clear the situation and any misunderstandings that occurred and that I wanted to apologize properly, but if she didn't feel like it she could just ignore it. There was no answer, another month passed and my guilt was not getting any better. I decided to send her a final message explaining everything. I also told her that I considered her a friend and I also requested a short conversation in order to resolve this situation but if she didn't feel comfortable talking to me she could just send me an empty e-mail as an answer so that at least I would know she finally saw my apology and explanation and I would never bother her again. The answer once again came from her boyfriend, calling me a relentless and obsessive stalker and threatening to call the police in case I ever contact her again.
It's been more than a month since then, of course I am not planning to ever contact her again… not because she threatened to call the police but because I don't want to make this person uncomfortable again. I never intended to make her uncomfortable in any way, now I understand that even my efforts to fix things made her feel bad. I think she mistook my guilt and my effort to apologize and clear this uncomfortable situation as an obsession for her. I won't lie, I did want to be her friend again and I once had feelings for her, but I am not even close to being obsessed with her… I really just wanted to clear any misunderstandings, apologize for my behavior and avoid any uncomfortable random meetings since we study at the same University.
I feel such terrible guilt, it is suffocating me and it has severely affected my daily life. I feel that she is right and that I did act like a stalker and made her feel very uncomfortable, I feel like a terrible person. Please be honest with me, am I a stalker?
(i have posted this somewhere else too but i need more opinions and please be honest with me)
Because of that I acted very needy towards her, I ended up telling her I had feelings for her but that I just wanted to be her friend and nothing more (she had a boyfriend) and that I would really feel better if we had a talk because i felt like she was avoiding me. Right away her boyfriend answered, calling me an obsessed maniac and telling me that she doesn't want to know me. Being already depressed that made me feel even worse. I don't think I have felt this bad in my entire life before. I had just lost my dream and right after, because of my stupidity, I lost a friend. I felt pain, guilt and regret all at once in a way I have never felt before. I foolishly tried to apologize (in a very needy way unfortunately) pretty much once a week for five times (there was no answer), and then I stopped all contact.
Fortunately after two months everything went back to normal regarding my goal. But I still felt guilt for acting like that towards her. I sent her a message asking her if she felt like talking so that I could clear the situation and any misunderstandings that occurred and that I wanted to apologize properly, but if she didn't feel like it she could just ignore it. There was no answer, another month passed and my guilt was not getting any better. I decided to send her a final message explaining everything. I also told her that I considered her a friend and I also requested a short conversation in order to resolve this situation but if she didn't feel comfortable talking to me she could just send me an empty e-mail as an answer so that at least I would know she finally saw my apology and explanation and I would never bother her again. The answer once again came from her boyfriend, calling me a relentless and obsessive stalker and threatening to call the police in case I ever contact her again.
It's been more than a month since then, of course I am not planning to ever contact her again… not because she threatened to call the police but because I don't want to make this person uncomfortable again. I never intended to make her uncomfortable in any way, now I understand that even my efforts to fix things made her feel bad. I think she mistook my guilt and my effort to apologize and clear this uncomfortable situation as an obsession for her. I won't lie, I did want to be her friend again and I once had feelings for her, but I am not even close to being obsessed with her… I really just wanted to clear any misunderstandings, apologize for my behavior and avoid any uncomfortable random meetings since we study at the same University.
I feel such terrible guilt, it is suffocating me and it has severely affected my daily life. I feel that she is right and that I did act like a stalker and made her feel very uncomfortable, I feel like a terrible person. Please be honest with me, am I a stalker?
(i have posted this somewhere else too but i need more opinions and please be honest with me)
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