I am not looking for sympathy at all, as I know so many people will have experienced the exact same thing, but I don't have the kind of money for a therapist or anything like that, and would be really grateful for any sort of advice or if anyone has a similar story and could share how they got through it.
I don't really get bullied anymore, just the occasional nasty comment or snigger. But from primary-school age, until the ages of 18/19, I was badly bullied both in school and work.
I've been bullied by both boys and girls, though much more by girls. It's happened with 'friends', classmates, people in my school and area who I didn't even know well, work colleagues, and some of my boyfriend's friends before we got together.
I've been called ugly so many times, i've been called a transseuxal (I'm not, and there would be nothing wrong if I was, I know, but i've been referred to as a manly-looking female).
People have made fun of my body hair, my lisp, my back problems, my skin. The fact that I can be shy and quiet, that I don't really drink, never smoked, my accent, because I was quite clever and worked hard, all sorts of stuff.
I have been left out of so many social events and not invited because I was too quiet, boring, they just wanted to make me look like a loser, etc.
I've invited people to my parties and then they have declined, saying it looked lame and then boasting about how they were doing their own thing that day.
I've been bullied in school, in the streets, in the town centre, on msn, on social networking.
I tried to talk to the bullies myself and tell them to stop, and I just got laughed at and called a crybaby and made fun of even more.
My Mum's approach was that I was too weak and 'soft' and I needed to fight back and make myself tougher, which was probably true.
Some bullies had the manipulative tactic of insinuating that I was the 'mean' one when I dared to retaliate or stand up for myself.
Later in life, I was bullied in the workplace by 3 girls, blamed for mistakes that they'd done, bossed around by a girl 4 years younger and with no authority over me, because I let her, left out of things, made fun of behind my back and on social networking, and left in tears a couple of times in work. I talked to them once in work and then stood up to them, and they claimed I was 'over-reacting' and got mad at me. Eventually it got a bit better, we were never friends as such but we were civil.
I was also rejected by every boy I liked when I was younger, which added to it. Everyone effectively got away with the bullying because I never told teachers or anything. These days, I see some of them in town and some say hi and be nice, and some say nothing. I know they will never hurt me now, but I feel like I will be scarred for life now.
I worked in a foreign school as an assistant and pupils my own age (20) never turned up to ANY of my lessons, even though they were supposed to, never gave me a reason or an apology, and left me waiting like an idiot, and laughed at me behind my back.
Some of my boyfriend's female friends were bitchy to me. One called me a really ugly loser, said it was hilarious that I was trying to date him, and tried to ban him from seeing me. She's ignored me a few times online and even deleted a birthday comment I wrote to her. She's been sweet a couple of times in person, and I try to suggest we all do something together but she never seems interested.
Another girl who he had liked, seemed to like him, and called me a bitch and suggested I was really boring, and never really acknowledged me at all or expressed any interest in meeting me.
Basically I believe I'm quite ugly and weird-looking, I feel like my boyfriend cannot possibly love me as much as he might've liked this girl, or his ex-girlfriend. I cry a lot and I feel like he might want to leave, but he's trapped (we live together). He's never really passionate with me and I feel like I am boring to him.
I never stand up to people, people don't seem to want to be my friend, I invite them for drinks and stuff and they just ignore my messages, but I've never confronted them.
I'm shy, and don't have a lot of confidence in myself as an English teacher (my profession), and feel like students (professional adults) mustn't take me seriously because of my age. I feel like people don't like me and laugh at me behind my back, and I'm always scared of losing my job, boyfriend, etc.
I feel like a wreck. Thankfully I have some nice friends and family, but I don't know what to do. Please could anyone offer me some advice, I would be very grateful. Thanks so much.
I don't really get bullied anymore, just the occasional nasty comment or snigger. But from primary-school age, until the ages of 18/19, I was badly bullied both in school and work.
I've been bullied by both boys and girls, though much more by girls. It's happened with 'friends', classmates, people in my school and area who I didn't even know well, work colleagues, and some of my boyfriend's friends before we got together.
I've been called ugly so many times, i've been called a transseuxal (I'm not, and there would be nothing wrong if I was, I know, but i've been referred to as a manly-looking female).
People have made fun of my body hair, my lisp, my back problems, my skin. The fact that I can be shy and quiet, that I don't really drink, never smoked, my accent, because I was quite clever and worked hard, all sorts of stuff.
I have been left out of so many social events and not invited because I was too quiet, boring, they just wanted to make me look like a loser, etc.
I've invited people to my parties and then they have declined, saying it looked lame and then boasting about how they were doing their own thing that day.
I've been bullied in school, in the streets, in the town centre, on msn, on social networking.
I tried to talk to the bullies myself and tell them to stop, and I just got laughed at and called a crybaby and made fun of even more.
My Mum's approach was that I was too weak and 'soft' and I needed to fight back and make myself tougher, which was probably true.
Some bullies had the manipulative tactic of insinuating that I was the 'mean' one when I dared to retaliate or stand up for myself.
Later in life, I was bullied in the workplace by 3 girls, blamed for mistakes that they'd done, bossed around by a girl 4 years younger and with no authority over me, because I let her, left out of things, made fun of behind my back and on social networking, and left in tears a couple of times in work. I talked to them once in work and then stood up to them, and they claimed I was 'over-reacting' and got mad at me. Eventually it got a bit better, we were never friends as such but we were civil.
I was also rejected by every boy I liked when I was younger, which added to it. Everyone effectively got away with the bullying because I never told teachers or anything. These days, I see some of them in town and some say hi and be nice, and some say nothing. I know they will never hurt me now, but I feel like I will be scarred for life now.
I worked in a foreign school as an assistant and pupils my own age (20) never turned up to ANY of my lessons, even though they were supposed to, never gave me a reason or an apology, and left me waiting like an idiot, and laughed at me behind my back.
Some of my boyfriend's female friends were bitchy to me. One called me a really ugly loser, said it was hilarious that I was trying to date him, and tried to ban him from seeing me. She's ignored me a few times online and even deleted a birthday comment I wrote to her. She's been sweet a couple of times in person, and I try to suggest we all do something together but she never seems interested.
Another girl who he had liked, seemed to like him, and called me a bitch and suggested I was really boring, and never really acknowledged me at all or expressed any interest in meeting me.
Basically I believe I'm quite ugly and weird-looking, I feel like my boyfriend cannot possibly love me as much as he might've liked this girl, or his ex-girlfriend. I cry a lot and I feel like he might want to leave, but he's trapped (we live together). He's never really passionate with me and I feel like I am boring to him.
I never stand up to people, people don't seem to want to be my friend, I invite them for drinks and stuff and they just ignore my messages, but I've never confronted them.
I'm shy, and don't have a lot of confidence in myself as an English teacher (my profession), and feel like students (professional adults) mustn't take me seriously because of my age. I feel like people don't like me and laugh at me behind my back, and I'm always scared of losing my job, boyfriend, etc.
I feel like a wreck. Thankfully I have some nice friends and family, but I don't know what to do. Please could anyone offer me some advice, I would be very grateful. Thanks so much.
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